Don't let kids drink
Here's an attitude I hate:
"Most teenagers are going to drink and experiment, with or without parental permission. Allowing them to do it at home, rather than on the streets, is being a responsible parent."
It was written by a Mooresville woman in a letter to the Charlotte Observer (today's edition) in response to a tragedy that occurred in Mecklenburg County in December.
Michael David Duni Jr., an 11th-grader at North Mecklenburg High School, died of alcohol poisoning at a friend's home. A group of kids had been drinking vodka and beer and playing cards.
The friend's mother, Dana Pittsonberger, was home at the time.
This week, she was charged with involuntary manslaughter.
I heard plenty about the notion that it's better to let your teenagers drink at home when my sons were in high school. I rejected the idea then and deplore it now.
First, high school students should not drink. Their drinking should not be condoned.
Second, it's foolish to think that letting them drink at home is going to keep them safe. That only works if you can make absolutely sure that they don't drink too much (and almost any amount may be too much for some) and that they're not going to leave the house after drinking. Good luck with that. Besides, once they're in the habit of drinking, they'd much rather do it anywhere else than in the company of their parents.
Third, no one should make decisions about whether anyone else's kids should be allowed to drink. In the one instance when I learned that one of my sons was offered the opportunity to drink at their home by one of his friend's parents, I was very upset and would have made an issue of it if my son had accepted the offer. Those other adults had no right to encourage my son to drink.
As an adult, you are responsible for what happens in your home. If a child drinks in your home and becomes sick or worse, you're responsible. If he drinks in your home and tries to drive home, you're responsible for the consequences. It's irresponsible, highly risky and against the law to provide alcoholic beverages to anyone under the age of 21.
I am sorry for Mrs. Pittsonberger's terrible predicament but much more sorry for the family of Michael Duni, who should not have been drinking at her home.
Update, 10:30 a.m. April 15: Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center has done a study on this subject. Here's some info.
Comments (2)
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Mr.Clark, I have just recently read your artical and I do think that you are on to something. Kids drinking at home is just as dangerous as drinking anywhere else, because the location usually has nothing to do with amount being drunk. Sadly there is something that I think you failed to mention in your artical or just fail to know in general. Drinking is done my most people in America and there are tons of advertisements that are suggesting that it makes events more fun. This means that kids may become curious about drinking, and let me tell you frankly that acting harshly is not the answer. THe answer is simple and much easier for parents to do. You must estabish a realitonship with your child that makes these topics like drinking casual. At this point the child should see the parent as someone who knows what they are talking about and that means that the child should listen to the parent. Its that simple... I am only saying this because it has worked with ME and pretty much all of my friends.
thank you
JAMES BOND
Posted on February 8, 2007 5:51 PM
Thanks for your comments. Your advice is good, and that is pretty much how I addressed the issue with my sons when they were teenagers.
Posted on February 9, 2007 8:21 AM