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The other 10 board members should go with Davis and Gibson to the National Association of County Commissioners conference in Honolulu.

Sure, it will cost taxpayers a fortune to send them -- and at a time when the county's budget is stretched thin.

And, sure, the educational experience probably isn't any greater than commissioners could derive from a statewide conference in Asheville, Wilmington or some other relatively modest location in between -- even humble Greensboro.

Never mind all that. There's more to be gained here than simply learning about transportation planning, solid-waste disposal or eminent domain. I mean, let's hope so.

Hawaii, according to those with the means to get there, is a Pacific paradise, a pearly string of islands featuring tropical beauty, friendly people and perfect weather.

It is, in short, the ideal destination for 12 cranky, contentious elected officials to spend a sunny, fun-filled week away from the cares and snares of Guilford County politics. Mortal enemies on the mainland, our contrary commissioners just might catch the aloha spirit along the balmy beaches of Waikiki.

Imagine, if you will ...

Hula lessons:
"Linda, I love the way you sway."
"Oh, Skip, you say the sweetest things."

An evening with Don Ho:
"This next song goes out to a great group of guys and gals from Guilford County, N.C., here with us tonight.
"Tiny bubbles ..."
"Hey, everybody, let's sing along with Don. I'll get my ukulele."
"Wow, I haven't seen Steve have this much fun since we fired Hector Rivera."

Surfing:
"Did you see that awesome ride Carolyn had?"
"Yeah, but what a wipeout."
"Why doesn't she get back up on her board?"
"Her bathing suit just washed in without her."

Fishing:
"Paul, I've hooked another one!"
"Way to go, John. Now, start reeling it in, strong and steady."
"Oh, no! Not again. It happens every time. They break the line or slip the hook. What's going wrong?"
"John, they must be provisional ballot fish. You can catch them, but you can't count them."

Cocktails by moonlight:
"Trudy, can I get you another mai tai?"
"Better not, John, my head's swimming already."
"You know, Trudy, I've been thinking. You're such a good commissioner, you should keep the seat."
"Oh, no, John. You won fair and square. I'll step aside."
"Gosh, I wish we both could serve together."
"Maybe I'll have another mai tai after all."

Speedo contest:
"I think they're all gorgeous, but Billy gets my vote."
"Why, Kay? His physique?"
"No, his tattoos."

Bikini contest:
Canceled.

Golf:
"Dang, another tee shot into the water."
"Don't worry, Bruce. Take another mulligan. Who keeps score among friends?"
"Thanks, Billy. You're a real pal."

Sightseeing:
"Mike, look at these unspoiled beaches. Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?"
"Sure does, Steve."
"What's it make you think of?"
"Development."
"Yeah. Me, too."

The luau:
"Hey, Kirk, this gives me an idea for my barbecue restaurant."
"You're going to cook your pigs in a sand pit?"
"No, I'm going to ask Linda, Trudy, Kay and Carolyn to wear their grass skirts to the grand opening."

Visiting the Kilauea volcano:
"Holy smoke! That thing looks like it could blow its top at any moment!"
"Yeah. Reminds me of Robert Moores."

Shopping:
"These prices are really high."
"Don't worry, ladies, the county's paying for everything."
"OK. You're the chairman."

And, if all else fails ...

A three-hour cruise:
"The weather's started getting rough."
"The tiny ship is tossed."
"Shut up, I've had enough."
"We're all going to be lost!"

Aloha, commissioners.