The four minute dream
We printed a cool story today about a trainer who builds guys up to dunk a basketball.
Gil Thomas guarantees success.
Dunking would be awesome, but that's not my athletic dream.
I'm still looking for someone who can show me the secret of running the mile in less than four minutes.
If you just said, "Run downhill," you're not funny.
Comments (6)
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Dunking would be awesome, but that's not my athletic dream.* Slamming it home Doug
Big deal about those dudes in California hustling midgets to slam dunk. The China Peoples liberation National Basketball team solved this problem about 10 years ago. In a era of a falling Yen against the American dollar. The Central Committee of the Communist party simply pass another socialist law in the interest of the common good by outlawing all players under 7 feet to play on the Peoples team. As you know the average height of it citizens is 5'2", so that was not problem for those players. They were pass on to the Peoples ping pong team who has rule the ping pong world for years with it's World class championship team.
As to finding players over 7 foot, they invaded the free state of Nepal and capture a tribe of Yeti's snowman. The average height of the missing tribe was 7'6" and didn't need dunking lessons. The tribe was then traded off as Peoples property to several NBA teams on a lend lease program to the Americans with the income of the players flowing back to the Peoples government treasure thus balancing the Yen against the Dollar in trade deficts between both States. I am sure you have seen several of their players in the NBA in TV commerials hustling cell phones and Nike slammed dunk pump up leap into myspace shoes at all Target stores. Wal Mart carrys the cheaper knock off Nikes with signed autographs of the midget ping pong players by the way and does away with the middle man dunk school in California.
I'm still looking for someone who can show me the secret of running the mile in less than four minutes.* Doug
Easy! Rent a SUV and attached yourself to the front bumper and run like heck before you destroy yourself and your cheap Nikes.
If you just said, "Run downhill," you're not funny.* Doug
It won't be funny when you get your hospital bill for stumbling in front of the SUV.
Posted on December 11, 2006 8:55 PM
This is un-related to your thread Doug, but for some reason I can't post on the chalkboard.
I would love for someone to verify this: I heard that McCallister's Deli, the new restaurant near the Palladium Cinema is doing something that concerns me. I heard that the employees are not allowed to accept tips and that if any tips are left, they are collected and donated to Mecklenburg County schools! I have eaten there twice now because I really appreciate their smoke-free environment, but if this is true about the tips, I will not eat there again. How could they expect Guilford County patrons to feel comfortable about donating their money to another school system?--especially when our own is in a miserable mess??
Thank you
Posted on December 12, 2006 8:58 AM
Myself, I'm searching for the seven-minute mile.
Posted on December 12, 2006 9:34 AM
Truth be told, Sam, I might struggle to run a mile under seven minutes myself. These days, I'm content to jog along at a much slower pace.
Unless I'm barreling down Skyuka Mountain Road in Polk County, one of my favorite places to run. Unfortunately, my legs hurt for a week after doing that.
Posted on December 12, 2006 9:55 AM
Now you know what I want for Christmas.
Posted on December 12, 2006 5:35 PM
I already gave you awesome genes.
Posted on December 13, 2006 7:59 AM