This week's column
Was it mere coincidence that the Michael Jackson trial was closing just as I was opening a little book called "On B.S."?
Actually, the title does not use any abbreviations, but I do so in the interest of keeping my job. We don't write those kinds of things in family newspapers. At least not intentionally.
Anyway, the book, as you may have heard, is a New York Times best seller, a scholarly tome by a retired moral philosopher on the delicate art of bending words and twisting meanings, of soft-pedaling and sidestepping, hoodwinking and bamboozling, through carefully crafted doublespeak.
A book on B.S. seemed a timely thing to write, for Harry G. Frankfurt, professor emeritus of philosophy at Princeton University, because there is so much of it in so many places these days.
"Everyone knows this," Frankfurt writes in his opening paragraph. "Each of us contributes his share."
And so we did last week, when the Jackson trial got more exposure than Iraq, and Katie and Matt tried to justify it all by asking, quite seriously, from time to time, why are we so fascinated with this stuff — as they continued to be fascinated by it.
The Jackson trial was a circus of unenlightened self-interest, where everybody had an angle, from the defendant to the alleged victim's parents. Where the defense attorney wore a bad wig and the Jackson family strolled daily like runway models before the cameras.
And where the Rev. Jesse Jackson parachuted in as a "spiritual adviser."
"This has been an excruciating process," Jackson said in the wake of Jackson's acquittal. "The jury has spoken. I hope that many lessons will be learned from this." B.S. heaped upon more B.S. Aggie, hast thou no pride?
Frankfurt's book is a lean and mean 67 pages based on one of his lectures. And it's written entirely straight-faced with nary a wink or nod to be found. That is its charm. Parts of it are so amusing because they treat the preponderance of poppycock with such academic seriousness. Picture Mr. Spock from "Star Trek" dissecting the popular appeal of Paris Hilton.
Among his observations, Frankfurt theorizes that there is so much B.S. today because there is so much communication. The sheer volume of information creates more needs and opportunities to massage the truth.
Other contributing factors he cites to the knee-deep mire of fuzzy rhetoric is a speaker who attempts to speak knowledgeably about something he does not know. B.S. is "unavoidable," he writes, "whenever circumstances require someone to talk without knowing what he is talking about."
He adds: "This discrepancy is common in public life."
Frankfurt cautions, however, that there is an important difference between B.S. and out-and-out lying.
Lie: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.
B.S.: "It depends on what your definition of is, is."
That is why the people who are not as practiced in B.S. seem so novel these days.
It's why, on the local level, someone like Greensboro City Councilman Tom Phillips, with whom I agree maybe only 50 percent of the time, is such a refreshing elected official. Almost without fail, he actually says what he means, in concise, simple sentences that leave little to misinterpretation.
And it's why someone like Walter Jones, the conservative Republican congressman from down east, has amazed so many people.
In a move that presents him with no discernible political benefit, Jones, who was as staunch a supporter of the war in Iraq as you'll find, has now called for a timetable for withdrawing U.S. troops.
He has been derided as a traitor by some in his party. The Carteret County News-Times in Morehead City described Jones' views as "a gift to terrorists."
I don't know that I agree with Jones on the notion of a timetable. But I do agree that a more earnest, honest discussion of the war is overdue, and Jones is helping to spark that kind of dialogue.
In any case, Jones is holding his ground. "If doing what's right means I don't return to Congress," he told the News & Observer of Raleigh last week, "then it's God's will."
The clarity, the honesty, the sheer lack of B.S. was stunning. For a moment, I was heartened. Then it occurred: Was a man who had merely said what he felt that rare?
Yup, he sure was. And that, folks, is no B.S.
Comments (4)
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I'm reminded of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." It mentions the interesting (and these days vital) idea that the president is a basically useless office, used to distract people from the actions of the people in REAL power.
Michael Jackson served the same purpose, but for a shorter term than 4 years.
The people of the late Roman Empire had their bread and circuses. We have food stamps and celebrity scandals. B.S. indeed.
Posted on June 19, 2005 6:05 AM
Excellent piece Mr. Johnson. I will be purchasing Professor Frankfurt's book so that I may better differentiate the truth from the b.s. I've become a bit versed in that activity from reading and grading research papers of undergraduates over the years and this book should help further my expertise in b.s. After all I have my Piled higher and Deeper (Ph.D.) degree on the wall and this could be considered continuing education in the field.
Posted on June 19, 2005 9:20 AM
Allen, don't you know by now that money talks and B.S. walks?
Free like O.J. all day... Tupac.
Posted on June 19, 2005 5:51 PM
No, Jesse aint got no pride MAN! Have you watched him over the past few years? Why did he even need to get involved in this situation? What did he add to it? How did he help?
Posted on June 20, 2005 11:03 AM