Leadership means sometimes having to say you're sorry
This week's column.
The city of Winston-Salem announced a $1.65 million settlement last week with Darryl Hunt for its role in convicting him for a 1984 murder he did not commit.
Another man eventually confessed to the rape and murder of newspaper copy editor Deborah Sykes and DNA evidence confirms it. But not until Hunt had spent 18 years in prison.
Hunt probably could have successfully sued the city for a considerably greater amount — as much as $1 million more — had he chosen to take the matter to court.
But true to his graceful demeanor throughout this ordeal, Hunt decided not to. And an ugly chapter in Winston-Salem’s history has ended on a hopeful and constructive note.
As significant as the money was in the case was the city’s formal, written apology. Mayor Allen Joines and the Winston-Salem City Council last week acknowledged "actions of city officers and employees, and of others, which fall far short of the standards this city holds and espouses.
"For such actions ... the city expresses its sincere regret, extending its profound and sincere apology to Darryl Hunt for all that he has endured and suffered in this matter."
The Hunt episode again brings up the question of the value and appropriateness of apologies, especially as they apply to governments and institutions. And especially as they apply to events that happened in the past.
The issue has come up frequently in recent months, and has involved a wide range of events, people and organizations. For instance, two fellow daily newspapers, The News & Observer of Raleigh and The Charlotte Observer, apologized last November for their roles in helping to foment the 1898 Wilmington race riots that effectively overturned a city government and disenfranchised black citizens there for decades.
Some say we should not be held culpable for the sins of our fathers, and that current administrations should not be held accountable for the mistakes of past administrations. After all, Allen Joines wasn’t mayor when Darryl Hunt was convicted, nor was the current chief of police, Pat Norris, in her job at the time.
But the city as an institution should be accountable and whoever leads it at the time should see to it.
The same standard holds for the News & Observer and the Observer, who were facing the harsh truths of misdeeds committed even before their editors, and their editors’ grandparents, were born.
That’s not to say every request for an apology warrants one. Too many are premature, based on partial knowledge, and first-blush reactions to what we think we know.
The demands for apologies from the Guilford College administration surrounding the alleged assault of three Palestinian students by football players fit that category.
Under fierce debate right now in Durham is whether more than 80 Duke University professors who paid for an ad in the student newspaper that denounced racism and sexual assault on campus should apologize. The ad appeared in the wake of sexual assault allegations by a dancer against Duke lacrosse players, which appear less and less credible every day.
When is an apology warranted?
When it is based on facts. When it is constructive. When it holds useful lessons for the present and the future. And when it is sincere.
Former basketball player Tim Hardaway’s half-hearted apology for mean-spirited remarks he made about gay people fits none of those criteria.
Back in Greensboro, an apology requested by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission for the city’s actions — or lack thereof — on Nov. 3, 1979, has fallen largely on unsympathetic ears. But it would seem the city would, at the very least, want to say it’s sorry for failing to better protect a neighborhood from a bloody shootout between Klansmen and communist protesters.
We’d all, in fact, be better off if we viewed apologies as exercises in accountability, not blame, as Winston-Salem seems to have done.
Depending on how it is handled and the spirit in which it is offered, an apology is not a sign of weakness.
It is a sign of honesty. And integrity.
Comments (37)
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Perhaps someone might say sorry for what has happenned to High Point Schools........
Posted on February 25, 2007 10:23 AM
There was a time long ago, when I voted for Dot Kearns, Susan Mendenhall, and Becky Smothers.
I'm sorry did that.
Posted on February 25, 2007 10:52 AM
I too owe the citizens of High Point and Guilford county an apology. I voted for Susan Mendenhall way back when my family first moved to NC. I never made that mistake again but it haunts me to this day--even though she's gone from office now, her disgraceful legacy lives on in High Point.
For this I am truly sorry.
Posted on February 25, 2007 11:35 AM
I NEVER voted for Dot Kearns, but I forgive everyone that has. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way and I honestly forgive those of you that were tricked into thinking that she had a heart.
It's okay, really--you all are forgiven.
Posted on February 25, 2007 1:12 PM
I'm sorry I don't live in Winston-Salem.
Posted on February 25, 2007 1:36 PM
I'm sorry I wasn't able to trick more NHP folks into attending Central. I'm usually very good at deceiving people.
Posted on February 25, 2007 1:41 PM
I'm sorry so many people were banned from the Chalkboard and can only post education related gripes here!
Posted on February 25, 2007 1:49 PM
SORRY CHARLIE.
Posted on February 25, 2007 1:52 PM
I'm so sorry too.
Posted on February 25, 2007 1:53 PM
To the busloads of children that are bussed up to North High Point, three to a seat for three hours a day. I opologise.
For sending them from a school with remedial resources to a school with none. I opologise.
To the children that were "supposed" to be bussed from North High Point to South High Point(but didnt turn up). I opologise.
To the 400 white children I have ran out of the three High Point schools since the start of the Choice plan. I opologise.
For helping High Point's schools become more segregated today than they have every been. I opologise.
For letting the GC school board play with diversity while totally forgetting to educate. I opologise.
For demanding that diversity is a must in High Point and no way at my local school, or my Alma matter. I opologise.
For ignoring reasonable peoples logical pleas to not support the High Point education trainwreck and turning them into crazed high jacking bloggers. I opologise.
Signed....U.No.Who
Posted on February 25, 2007 3:42 PM
For constantly badgering a crazy woman named Emma Kaye I apologize. The readers of the HPE will not miss her monthly testament to insanity.
I'm sorry her husband will have to institutionalize her in Texas.
Posted on February 25, 2007 5:32 PM
I'm sorry High Point as a banker who goes by Crazy Joe and worships the ground Aunt Dottie walks on.
Posted on February 25, 2007 5:35 PM
Rumor has it,,, that Lisa Cooke is already in Costa Rica,,, waiting on a certain Doctor to show up with the Loot....
Posted on February 25, 2007 8:15 PM
More apologies in the news, one given and one asked for: an apology by the state of Virginia for slavery and the request for an apology by the Palestinian students involved in the alleged assault by Guilford College football players.
Posted on February 25, 2007 8:23 PM
As for the often witty comments regarding North High Point (the Uncle Albert allusion is a gem McCartney fans will especially appreciate) I'm sorry. I have nothing to say that I haven't already said.
Posted on February 25, 2007 8:31 PM
Allen,
My guess is that you are especially sorry that you started this mess, and can't take posts off because they are off-topic. Just smile and show some leadership, Allen. No one really expects that you'll say your sorry.
Posted on February 25, 2007 8:42 PM
Sorry for immigrating to the greatest country in the world and choosing to buy a house in High Point.
I am so mad that I didnt stretch a little (maybe a lot) more and live in Oak Ridge.
Posted on February 25, 2007 10:45 PM
I'm sorry any of you ever reproduced.
Posted on February 26, 2007 12:28 AM
I'm sorry that I have a notebook in my possession that cronicles Grier's career, including all the times he has been fired, teacher complaints, unrenewed contracts, lawsuits, cheating at golf with co-workers, mysterious fires at 4 different school districts where he worked, and lots and lots of lies he has told but I have never found a way to share it with the public.
Posted on February 26, 2007 8:23 AM
t, you ain't the only one that's sorry.
The sponge swunge!
Posted on February 26, 2007 8:45 AM
Dang t,
It's pretty low to say you wish Allen and his kind had never reproduced.
Posted on February 26, 2007 8:59 AM
Allen, thank you for acknowledging activist parents in to today's editorial.
You should commend them for doing something because the press in this town certainly isn't going to do anything except; support the status quo-which is to keep Deena and Grier paid, dicipline lax,(because it is nothing more than a racist plot) and Dot in her never-ending quest change her school demographic.
Posted on February 26, 2007 9:02 AM
I'm really sorry that some cannot see the injustice for kids in High Point. It would be so simple to fix it and it's only fair. Give the kids a choice. I'm so sorry that those kids don't deserve a choice.
Posted on February 26, 2007 9:31 AM
I'm sorry Emma Kaye got fired from her job (NOT)
I hope this doesn't mean Real Truth has more time to post on the Chalkboard.
Posted on February 26, 2007 10:22 AM
I'm so glad Allen wrote and editorial about parents being involved.
I'm not sorry for all the North High Point and Jamestown parents who stand up for children.
RIGHT ON!
I'm also sorry I missed some new songs by Dr. John.
Posted on February 26, 2007 10:25 AM
Allen, I'm not sure why above you are apologizing for OUR witty comments.????
Sounds kind of like a Hardaway apology. (Actually, Hardaway's was more sincere since he was at least apologizing for something he himself actually said)
Now, if you really wanted to, you could maybe apologize for pushing for busing in our town but never your own. This could even meet your three criteria defined above
a) based on facts
b) be constructive
c) be a "useful lesson" for the future.
Something still tells us to not hold our breath.
Posted on February 26, 2007 3:41 PM
I think Allen actually enjoys the busing situation. He secretly feels it's a pay back from his own busing days at Dudley. Of course this is just my opinion, but I'd say it's pretty close to the truth.
Posted on February 26, 2007 3:59 PM
Not really. I rode a bus before integration and I rode a bus afterward. In neither case did I consider it a particular hardship.
Posted on February 26, 2007 4:07 PM
Allens, what happenned if you missed the bus? Better still, what should kids do if they miss the bus?
Posted on February 26, 2007 5:46 PM
I'm sorry there aren't more people like Florence Gatten on the GSO City Council.
She's old school. Way to go Florence.
Posted on February 26, 2007 7:20 PM
Did anyone else notice the angelic glow on Gatten's photo on the N&R homepage? I don't think that was an accident...
Posted on February 26, 2007 8:57 PM
I apologize in advance but that Diane BellamyNOTsoSmall is scary! No wonder that cop backed off! Maybe he thought she'd kick his A$$!
Posted on February 26, 2007 9:16 PM
I'm sorry that my child had to sit through an out of control assembly about Black history,,,, wasting an hour of class time that could have been spent on Math or English,,,
by the way,,,,,when does Black history month end????????
It is past time to get on with Educating our Children.
Posted on February 26, 2007 10:24 PM
Allen's not ready to make nice
He's not ready to back down
After all, the people he helped screw
Live in another town
Posted on February 26, 2007 10:40 PM
Florence...starting a trend. Getting insane people out of guilford Co. government?
Talk about opening a can of worms.
God Bless
Posted on February 26, 2007 10:47 PM
Healed,
Amen to that. My child enjoyed the Martin Luther King, Jr. speech and the gospel singing. Both were appropriate, historically speaking and the other entertainingly speaking. What she did not appreciate was the very OPINIONATED, NOT HISTORICAL motivational speaker. What are the rules about inciting a riot or potential to incite a riot?
Posted on February 27, 2007 1:36 AM
My children were just glad to get a break from class. They paid no attention to the man behind the curtain. Besides, they know that all they have to do when having racial BS crammed down their throats is to text me and I will have them excused from school for the rest of the day.
Posted on February 27, 2007 7:47 AM