I wouldn't call Tolly Carr a friend. I would call him a good acquaintance.
The last time I saw him was while Christmas shopping in Sears at Friendly Center.
I congratulated him on his recent promotion to morning co-anchor of the WXII (Channel 12) morning news show. I had followed his career since he worked mornings at a Greensboro radio station WQMG (97.1 FM).
You really had to get up with the chickens, he told me of the 5 a.m. newscast at XII. He could slip in just before 7 a.m. and manage OK at QMG. No way that'd work at the TV station.
I've crossed paths with Tolly several times, including an ethics panel put on by one of his mentors, Denise Franklin, of Wake Forest University's NPR affiliate, WFDD.
I was impressed by his ascension through the ranks at WXII and his growth as a journalist, from a fledgling sports reporter to a news guy. He was obviously a hard worker. He'd do his morning shifts and return to help with Friday night football or basketball.
He had a natural ease in front of the camera and a very quick wit. He was so good with his co-workers that you actually believed these guys liked each other. Even Carr's brotherly pokes at WXII's wacky comedian/traffic reporter, Jennie Stencel, were gentle and never mean-spirited.
You've seen one awkward stab at Happy Talk on morning TV you’ve seen 'em all. But this was different. The banter wasn't forced, and Channel 12, sensing a good thing, began to aggressively promote its a.m. cast.
Now Carr's career at WXII seems all but over. A pickup truck Carr was driving ran off the street in Winston-Salem Sunday morning and struck and killed a 26-year-old pedestrian, Casey Ryan Bokhoven.
As everybody around here knows by now, Carr has been charged with driving while impaired. Police said he admitted to having had drinks earlier and said he smelled of alcohol.
It was hard watching his co-workers struggle through today's newscast with pained looks on their faces. This morning's "Big Story": "Anchor involved in fatal accident."
I told my journalism students today that Carr's case ought to be a lesson, a cautionary tale about the carelessness and consequences.
"Think about the next time you tell yourself, 'It won't happen to me." " I told them.
"How many of you could that have been?"
It can happen to any of us, including those of us who are more accustomed to reporting about people's mistakes.
I grieve for the young man who lost his life Sunday morning and I grieve for Tolly Carr.
I didn't say anything to my students about the abject foolishness and danger of drinking and driving. I didn't need to.