Stock up
It has come to my attention that somehow the combination of live blogging and politics makes people thirst fora drinking game for some reason. Well, this here is a family blog and I don’t want to be accused of corrupting our younger readers or endangering people who might take this literally. So all of you folks -- look away.
For the rest of you, here are the rules for the Guilford County Primary Day 2006 drinking game (to be applied only once you’re safely at home and the dogs have buried your car keys in the back yard somewhere):
- If you have a campaign sign in your yard, have a beer.
- If you worked a polling place today, have two.
- Every time you hear Vernon Robinson say something nasty about Brad Miller, take a sip. (Really, pace yourself.)
- If you hear someone griping about how they wish Hoggard had run for school board, mix up some mint juleps and head directly for your porch to chew the fat about what all the primary results mean.
- If the people that you’re hanging out with cheer in response to election related news, take a drink.
- If you meet a candidate, take a drink. If a voting machine ate your vote, swish a drink around in your mouth then spit it out.
- If you meet someone who is furiously dialing to cast their vote for American Idol but didn’t vote in today’s election, give up all hope for our democracy and finish your beverage.
- If someone asks you which appellate court candidate is from Guilford County and you can answer correctly as per the official judicial voter guide, you have permission to open the top shelf booze.
- If you’re wearing an “I Voted” sticker and someone asks you if you did, in fact, vote, hand them your dregs and go get a fresh beverage.
- If Linda Shaw falls behind in her County Commissioner primary, throw your drink at the person standing next to you.
- If the election you care about will go to a run off, drink a pint of vodka and spend the rest of the night convalescing on County Government Reporter Nate DeGraff's sofa.
- If Elections Director George Gilbert starts hooking people up to lie detectors, tap a keg and cry all night about the demise of representative democracy as we know it.
- If perennial candidate Joe Rahenkamp wins, finish all beverages on hand.