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Somebody get Sheff his own show

... because, even though the man may very well be insane, you certainly can get a conversation going, can't he?

I know this is a little old, but check out the snippets in the Detroit Free Press from an interview he did for GQ.

If you're too lazy to read it - hey, you are on a blog, after all - I'll save you some time and go right to the money quote.

On the decline of African-American players in MLB and the increase of Latinos: "I called it years ago. What I called is that you're going to see more black faces, but there ain't no English going to be coming out. ... (It's about) being able to tell (Latin players) what to do -- being able to control them. Where I'm from, you can't control us. You might get a guy to do it that way for a while because he wants to benefit, but in the end, he is going to go back to being who he is. And that's a person that you're going to talk to with respect, you're going to talk to like a man. These are the things my race demands. So, if you're equally good as this Latin player, guess who's going to get sent home? I know a lot of players that are home now can outplay a lot of these guys."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Sheffy baby! Back it up there!

First, since Sheff started this stereotype party, let's throw in the ones we've always heard about Hispanics. Hot-headed. Emotional. Passionate. Great Dancers. You get the picture. Where exactly do "docile" and "easily controlled" fit into that picture?

Second, let's consider a few prominent Hispanic players. Did Carlos Zambrano appear "easily controlled" when he was slamming Michael Barret into lockers the other day? If Jose Guillen is so easily controlled, then why is he now playing for his sixth team (and counting?) Thank goodness Juan Marichal was easily controlled. He only swung a bat at Johnny Roseboro's head. What would he have used if he wasn't such a docile chap?

Third, remember as Sheff says, where he's from. That would be the Tampa area. The same place, coincidentally, that Elijah Dukes is from. Dukes certainly fits into the "cannot be controlled" category. He also is a young African-American player. According to Sheff's logic, Dukes would the exact sort of player that MLB is avoiding thesed days. In reality - where Sheff only visits ocassionally, apparently - Dukes was a third-round draft pick despite numerous questions about his character. Even now, with stories about Dukes threatening to kill his wife surfacing, the D-Rays are sticking by their man. Why? Because Dukes can play.

On second though, just ignore all that. Let's not get in the way of a good Sheff conspiracy theory. It's just too entertaining.

(Personal note: I just traded for Sheff on my fantasy baseball team. And Clemens will, hopefully, be making his first start for my team next week. Yet somehow, I still sleep at night.)

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