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Was the ending of today's race one of the weirdest NASCAR things you've ever seen, or what?

Scratch that. "Or what" isn't an acceptable answer. You had:

* Tony Stewart leading the race, running out of gas on lap 266-and-a-half and still winning the thing.

* Jeff Gordon's car just up and quitting on him.

* Kasey Kahne spinning himself out on the way to get gas.

* Jimmie Johnson missing pit lane (because of Kahne's spin), nearly running over Kahne on his way into and out of his pit (because he was impatient), then getting nailed for speeding on the way out (because ... I can't explain that last one).

* Dale Earnhardt Jr. turning a perfectly good top-5 finish into a perfectly average 10th.

* Both a Casey Mears (second) and Dale Jarrett (fourth) sighting.

Do I have that about right? And does Jeff Burton really have a 69-point lead in the points race?

Like I said ... weird.

From Dustin Long's story in today's paper:

"It stopped running," Gordon radioed crew chief Steve Letarte. "Will it crank over?" Letarte responded. "It will crank but it won't start," Gordon said. Teammate Terry Labonte pulled off the track and pushed Gordon to pit road. "It has no fuel," Gordon radioed Letarte. "I know there's fuel in it," Letarte said. "Maybe, but it's not getting to the motor," Gordon said.

You know there's trouble in the 24 camp when the driver doesn't believe the crew chief has put gas in the car.

On Sunday morning, I was all about hating on Gordon. Today, I've just got to feel a little sorry for him.

From an actual press release:

NASCAR NEXTEL Cup champion Tony Stewart is working with Old Spice to give a lucky fan the sweat towel right off his shoulder (un-washed)!

The money's going to charity - specifically, the Victory Junction Gang Camp. But ... ewwwww.

That would be Jimmie Johnson's complaint about Sunday's race.

Everyone saw the Kahne spin. Johnson figured that would bring out a yellow flag. It didn't, Johnson stayed on the track and lost the race. That's more bad luck for the 48 crew.

But Dustin Long notes an earlier instance where Johnson waited in vain for a caution. Said Johnson in today's teleconference:

"We certainly needed that caution at that point. That definitely hurt us in having a shot at winning that race."

That earlier instance? It was when teammate Jeff Gordon's car conked out on the backstretch and Hendrick-driver-for-life Terry Labonte pushed him back to the pits.

Dustin has the whole thing.

Actually, this was how Jimmie Johnson looked after Sunday's race when he realized both his teammate and NASCAR denied him a caution.

Seriously, though ... I can't be serious about any of this. (Yes, blame Humpy Wheeler.) More after the jump, including a press release that includes the word "slobberknocker."

Words can't do justice to Dustin Long's latest.

Let's just say it involves Jacques Villeneuve, the late Dale Earnhardt and singin'.

I have nothing more to add except for the fact (rumor, really) that Villeneuve might be driving for Roush next season. I told you that you needed to be reading Dustin's blog.

This might be the silliest thing I've ever heard if it's true.

Mark Martin in a Chevy?!

If this comes to pass - and this rumor seems to have some actual traction (plus there's a Martin-related press conference tomorrow at 'Dega) - the longer of big-time drivers who used to drive for Ford (Sadler, Kahne, Jeff Gordon, Dale Jarrett in 2007) is longer than the list of actual Ford drivers.

Hey, Ford! How did the manufacturers' championship work out for you this year? ... oh, sorry.

Here's the hot rumor around Talladega, according to Dustin Long:

GM Goodwrench out, Shell/Pennzoil (or some combination thereof) in as the sponsor of the 29.

I bring that up only for, well, obvious reasons.

RCR is announcing at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow Talladega time or 10:30 a.m. Greensboro time. You can watch it live here.

Amusing sidebar: The Shell flak who e-mailed me sent me the link and told me to watch it. Had something to do with racing - wouldn't even ID the series, for cryin' out loud, even when I asked nicely (for an assistant sports editor on a Friday). But when you click through to the link ... I'll wait for you to do that now ... look! it's Kevin Harvick!

Sorry I ruined the surprise.

Quote of the month, courtesy of Juan Pablo Montoya via Scene Daily:

Juan Pablo Montoya had a message for his crew about his car after wrecking during a test session earlier this week in Turn 2 at Kentucky Speedway: "I'm glad you've got, like, 60 of them. Hopefully there won't be as many, but there will be [crashes]."

He must have the world's richest ARCA team.

Seriously, though, JPM is using the only sane strategy to survive today's ARCA race: Qualify up front and drive like heck. He'll start second this afternoon. (Frank Kimmel is starting fourth. I'm wondering if Mr. ARCA will give JPM a little room on the start or if he'll unleash all of his pent-up I-should-be-in-NASCAR-frustration on the back bumper of Montoya's Dodge.)

Scene Daily has more on the most interesting story in the garage for 2007. (Yes, more interesting than Mark Martin in a Chevy. That story is just plain strange.)

The ARCA race is at 5:30 p.m. EDT today. SPEED picks up the same-day tape at 8. And look in Saturday's paper for more. (Yes, competing media - Dustin is writing about JPM for Saturday. Wish you'd thought of it first, yes?)

P.S.: Bad omen -- Montoya will be driving the No. 4, a number most recently used in the Cup Series by occassional Spotter pinata Scott Wimmer. Maybe JPM have better luck with it.

7 p.m. update: Nate Ryan of USA Today beat Dustin to the punch. He wrote a very long (and good) Montoya story for Thursday's paper.

9:30 p.m. update: I subbed in the link above. The previous link went to a wire/staff story that wasn't the one I was looking for. I blame ... my own incompetence.

You know who I'm talking about.

If there's karma in this world, his trophy will slide off the shelf and break into a million pieces.

P.S. At least Earnhardt Jr. didn't whine about his misfortune like some other Hendrick drivers.

You've got to wonder what's going on in the Hendrick camp when Kyle Busch is the most likeable of that organization's four drivers.

I'll admit it: I'm a Junior fan, and I wasn't pleased to see what happened to him at the end of Sunday's race.

But come on, folks: This is just stupid. You embarrass me.

If you haven't read enough morning-after stories, Dustin has his here, and the Big Dog catches up with Boss Hendrick.

Also: Pictures and the transcript of JJ's Monday chat with reporters.

Here's an interesting paragraph from Dustin's story in Tuesday's paper:

(Jimmie) Johnson was 247 points out of the points lead at the same time in 2004 and lost the title by eight points. He won four of the last six races to make that charge.

The race in question was actually Kansas -- Talladega and Kansas later swapped spots on the Cup calendar -- and Johnson had eight other drivers between him and first. (Here's the list; scroll to the bottom of the page.)

Going into Saturday night's race, everyone is within 185 points of the lead. Four drivers (Kenseth, Martin, Harvick and Hamlin) are within 51. (It's here; scroll down.)

The conclusion: The 2006 championship is still anyone's ballgame, er, race, er, ... you know what I mean.

Now wasn't that fun?

Jimmie Johnson on soon-to-be-former-teammate Brian whatshisname, from Dustin Long's notes today:

"If I look at the interviews and the quotes and the (phone) message that Brian left me, I wouldn't take it as an apology."

Good thing NASCAR supplies the tires. Otherwise the 25 team would show up at Lowe's Saturday with a truckful of tires with holes in them. Or something.

I'm not sure if this tells anyone anything, but here you go -- the top 10 in points scored in the first four races in the Chase.

1. Jeff Burton, 583
2. Carl Edwards, 577
3. Mark Martin, 568
4. Brian whatshisname, 558
5. Matt Kenseth, 542
6. Martin Truex Jr., 537
7. Kevin Harvick, 525
8. Kurt Busch, 524
9. Tony Stewart, 521
10. Denny Hamlin, 517

Maybe this is a preview of 2007?

Next year's driver of the 2007 Red Cow car obviously made a name for himself last weekend. But note the guy in second (a Carl Edwards sighting!) and in sixth (the only guy here other than whatshisname who's never been in the Chase.)

Like I said, I'm not sure if this means anything, but, hey, it is what is is, whatever that means.

Oh. My. Gosh.

ESPN is putting Rusty Wallace, Jerry Punch and Andy Petree in the booth in 2007. I've never heard Petree, but Rusty did fine on IRL, and Punch is Punch. That's a good crew.

But Musburger (he'll play the Chris Myers role on ABC/ESPN next year ... I'd rather have Bill Weber.

Update #1: Dustin Long has more at his place. And to clarify, I have heard of Petree (he is a former Earnhardt Sr. crew chief and former car owner); I've just never heard him on air.

I told myself I wouldn't do it, but I watched video of Sunday's race last night from every which way - bumper cam, windshield cam, camera cam.

You know which part I mean.

I'm still hacked. What an idiotic move.

You know, I'm not one for violence. If I were a crew chief, I wouldn't tell my driver to go git that sunovabeach that turned ye last Sunday.

But you know, I'm not going to not cheer if a certain Chevy driver ends up pointing the wrong way Saturday night. And I wouldn't blame someone for making that happen.

Just sayin'.

Update #1: I guess I'm the only one who's still mad. Junior apparently still isn't. From Dustin Long's blog: I was really happy for Vickers to win. I was surprised that he placed the blame where he did, being that he was behind us. You know, it was like bowling there on the back straightaway, with us being the pins. He won the race and he's got a lot to be proud of. I think he does have an apology or two for Jimmie. ... I don't think he owes me one.

That was Jeff Gordon's speed in qualifying yesterday, good enough to start him 41st tomorrow night. (He would have started 42nd, but NASCAR took issue with Kurt Busch's shocks and tossed out his qualifying time.)

Put Gordon's time in context: Assuming that's the best he can do (he didn't just give up, in other words), he's eight mph slower than pole sitter Scott Riggs.

If those speeds hold up and the race starts on time at 7:20, Riggs will lap him at about 7:30, and Gordon will be 10 laps down by 9 p.m.

Could be a looooong night for the 24 crew.

Lots and lots of them, in fact: 14 DNFs Saturday night at Charlotte, 3-4 other cars that had no business being out on the track. (Results here.)

One question for Mark Martin, who went airborne after hitting J.J. Yeley and then the wall: If the guy in front of you is trying to get into the pits, wouldn't it make sense to pass him on the outside? Just asking. But at least Martin is having fun.

More from Dustin: Race story, notes (the Cup series is staying in the States for now) and a folo on your points leader, the new Iceman.

Ed Hardin writes about NASCAR's new villain, Brian Vickers.

Speaking of dead race cars, Juan Pablo Montoya killed his ARCA car, then brought it back to life. Not bad for a rookie.

Dustin seems to think Sunday's race at Martinsville will make or break the Chase for a few folks.

If you're Kevin Harvick, who seems to have figured out this weird little track, that's a good thing.

If you're Jeff Burton, you're going to pretend there's a 99 on the side of your car. Look at those stats: Burton was freakin' awesome at Martinsville from 1996 to 2003 -- he got one win and 8 top 5s in 16 races and completed 99.5 percent of the laps.

As a Childress driver, eh. Not great, not bad. He'll do.

He better pick it up: Gordon's good here. (He's the defending race champ). So's Junior. Tony Stewart followed a second in the fall 2005 race with a win in the spring. And Jimmie Johnson's worst finish here in eight races is an astounding ninth.

Does anyone else have the mojo to challenge for a win?

The scene: Saturday night at Charlotte
The audio: In-car radio chatter between Dale Earnhardt Jr. and crew chief Tony Eury Jr.
The science: "With the colder temperatures comes less perspiration. And with less perspiration comes, well, one less way for fluid to escape the body" (That's according to Junior's race notes; I don't remember enough about high school biology to know if that's true.)

Anyway:

Dale Earnhardt Jr.: "How many laps is this race?"
Tony Eury Jr.: "Three thirty-four."
Dale Jr.: "I gotta p*$$ like hell!"
Tony Jr.: "Then goooooo!!!!"
Dale Jr.: "No, I’m gonna hold it. This is a brand new suit. You can thank me later."

Now you know why some drivers don't want to stick around for post-race interviews. Can't say I blame them.

Make up your own jokes in the comments.

It's not a great time to be Ford. Mark Martin's leaving at the end of the year. So is Dale Jarrett. Kurt Busch left Ford last year, Elliott Sadler left this year, Ricky Rudd took off 2006 (and who knows what he'll drive in 2007 or even if he'll race next year), and some other drivers that were once in the Ford stable (Jeff Gordon, Kasey Kahne) found fame and fortune with another carmaker. Chevy has already locked up the 2006 manufacturer's title, a Chevy driver is leading the standings and the newest video game with your blue oval on it is, according to gamespot.com, subpar and second rate. Ugh.

If you're the guy who oversees Ford's racing efforts in the U.S., Canada and Mexico, things are looking up. I'd be surprised if he said anything different. (Davis' comments about Yates -- "Certainly the Robert Yates situation is a disappointment" -- suggests that there's some tension there.)

So a question for the gearheads: What does Ford need to do to get back in the game? Or with the Car of Tomorrow on the horizon, does it even matter?

A few months ago, AP racin' writer Jenna Fryer referred to Tony Stewart as "portly." (Here's the story; go down to the 10th graf, the one that starts "If there's one thing that's certain, ...")

I recall that a lot of folks didn't like the description. I thought it was a cheap shot -- the story was about Stewart's role in the garage, not his weight.

But was it accurate? Let's put it this way: Tony Stewart's 2006 physique is Exhibit A in the case of Racin' Haters vs. NASCAR Drivers Are Too Athletes. "Portly" was probably the kindest thing Fryer could have written because Stewart got pretty big in the offseason.

The extra baggage apparently got to Stewart, too. As Dustin Long notes, Stewart's trying to take off some of the weight and get in better shape. (The original story from the Richmond paper is here.)

You'll never be able to scrub your clothes on Stewart's abs (ewwww) like you might could with some other drivers. But it's a good move on his part. He'll do better if he has more energy, especially at tracks like Martinsville where you have to concentrate hard for 3-4 hours at a time.

Yeah, 2006 was a bad year (by Stewart's standards, anyway). I expect to see him in 2007 running up a few more fences, not looking up at them and breathing heavy from the effort it takes to get out of his car.

A couple of head-scratchers:

First -- Kurt Busch's penalty. He lost 50 driver points. His crew chief will watch the next two races from home. (Details are here.)

The Busch camp won't appeal and say they don't know what happened to their right rear shock last week. (It didn't compress -- I'm guessing if there's less bounce in the car, it'll go faster. Is that right?) The Busch folks blame a mechanical problem. Which rings true, because Roy McCauley's never mentioned in the same breath as Chad Knaus and Todd Berrier.

Still, NASCAR came hard with the points and suspension, which suggests that NASCAR thinks the No. 2 crew doth protest a bit too much. Anyone want to guess who's right here?

Second -- one of the SPEED Channel gel heads, Ray Dunlap, was suspended for a week. Apparently he made some crack last week about Hispanics. thatsracin.com is no help - they won't say what he said. Anyone know?

See if you can find the pattern here:

Dustin Long resets the Chase after five races and predicts that Jeff Burton will win it. Sunday, Burton's engine decides to take the day off.

Dustin once again raises the ugly specter that Jeff Gordon might tie Dale Earnhardt Sr. in career victories. Jeff Gordon runs well Sunday but can't seal the deal.

Early on in the Chase, Dustin noted that no driver who finished the first Chase race 30th has come back to win it. That would suggest that Jimmie Johnson was dead in the water after New Hampshire. But guess who's now 41 points out of the lead?

The point of this exercise isn't to pick on Dustin. (Seriously -- it's not.) It's to show how unpredictable racin' can be. I (and a lot of other folks) picked Harvick to win. If I had to pick him again ... ? Hmmm. Hard to say.

It's still anyone's race. I'm not sure I'd count out Jeff Gordon.

Update #1: As Dustin points out in way of a rebuttal, there's a ton of luck involved in this Chase thing, which was the subject of his Saturday story.

Speaking of Dustin: When the Chase thing ramped up last month, Dustin predicted Denny Hamlin to win it. It was a good pick then (in the sense that, Hmmm, maybe I should have picked Hamlin, too.)

I have to say I was really impressed with Hamlin on Sunday, especially at the end of the race. He and Johnson beat on each other like a couple of veterans. When Hamlin realized that he didn't have a shot at Johnson, he backed off. Smart move.

Contrast that to another young driver, David Ragan, who hit everything but the pace car. (Or maybe he did -- I thought I saw a doughnut on the driver's side.) When you hack off Ken Schrader, you know you need to go back to driving school.

At the risk of threadjacking my own topic (and it's a really good conversation), I have a question:

Why can David Ragan jump into a Cup race while A.J. Allmendinger needs approval? Champ Car phenom has entered Sunday's Cup race at Atlanta, but he's awaiting NASCAR's approval, whatever that entails.

Compare and contrast:
Here's Ragan -- 1 top-5 finish and 14 DNFs in 35 NASCAR starts.
Here's Allmendinger -- 5 wins (all this year)and 14 top-3s in 40 career Champ Car races.

One of these guys can drive the wheels off a race car. I'll let you guess which one.

NASCAR will have to approve him eventually: AJA will be driving the second Red Cow entry next season.

Update #1: Uh-oh. Apparently Ragan doesn't have approval to run at Atlanta either.

As I said earlier, you don't want to mess with Ken Schrader.

Which is exactly what David Ragan did (not on purpose, mind you), and that's why he'll be watching Sunday's Cup race on TV like the rest of us. (The AP has the details here.) Champ Car phenom A.J. Allmendinger, meanwhile, has 33 fewer career NASCAR starts than Ragan, but NASCAR cleared him to try to make the field. Go figure.

Is that fair? If you're Jack Roush, the answer is clearly no. He can put whoever he wants in that car, gosh doggonnit, and Allmendinger is some open wheel guy with that crazy name. (Try not to smile when saying "Allmendinger." It's hard not to.)

Is that a conspiracy against Roush? (Oooooh, that old chesnut.) Almost certainly not. I don't think NASCAR owes Toyota or Red Cow any favors, and I don't think King Bri carries the emnity toward others that daddy and grandpa did.

So what's going on? My guess -- and it's only that -- is that NASCAR is trying to save some of these younger drivers from themselves. There's no shortage of good drivers in NASCAR these days, and there's definitely no shortage of guys who want to drive the nation's top racing circuit. (It would not surprise me one bit if Michael Schumacher announced tommorrow that he would be at Daytona in February.)

But for every Kyle Busch -- probably the most talented 21-year-old who's come along since his teammate in the 24 -- you have five Jason Lefflers. Remember Casey Atwood? Buckshot Jones? It's hard enough for a veteran to break in to Cup racing. But it's even tougher for a young guy, most of whom don't have the experience and maturity (and probably not the talent either) to drive in close quarters at the speeds they do. You tear up enough equipment and tick off enough veterans, and you'll be begging the Bodines to let you drive the pace car.

Contrast David Ragan with Regan Smith, who turned 23 last month. He doesn't have much to show for his NASCAR career. But he has been around NASCAR since 2002, and he has 93 starts under his butt. MB2 will bring him along slowly next year. (The irony, of course, is that his mentor is the current driver of Ragan's 2007 ride.) Will Smith make it? Dunno. But he's being set up to succeed rather than being thrown behind the wheel and told, "Good luck."

Allmendinger, meanwhile, who turns 25 in December, can drive a race car. He has five Champ Car wins this season, and his two Truck Series runs in 2006 qualify as "solid" -- 13th at Loudon and fifth at smokin' fast Talladega. The guy definitely has some talent. I can't wait to see how he does Sunday. Maybe David Ragan will be watching and learning.

All of the cool kids want to drive stock cars. Maybe including ... Michael Schumacher.

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm reading between the lines. Most likely there's just white space there.

Still, Red Cow does F1, and Schumacher's going to get bored, and ...

I mean, why not?

In other news, some drivers are praying for sunshine tomorrow. Your weather forecast for the Hampton, Ga. metro area: Rain, followed by periods of light and heavy showers, with a good chance of downpours.

The guy who's doing the fastest don't-rain-on-me dance: A.J. Allmendinger. Remember, the guy has exactly 31 owner points, or not nearly enough to have a prayer to make the race unless some serious cash is transacted. You don't think Red Cow would buy its way into Sunday's race ... do you?

I guess this guy missed last year's Super Bowl and hasn't seen an NBA finals since Michael Jordan quit and let some other teams have a shot.

I wouldn't call this year's Chase graceful. But it's sure a lot more interesting than the championship hunt in the Busch Series. A win's a win, and that trophy will look good over the fireplace whether a guy wins it by an inch or a mile.

I saw about 20 minutes of yesterday's Atlanta race. (I blame my daughter's birthday party.)

The birthday party: Definitely not boring, not with sugared-up 5- and 6-year-olds swinging a wooden sword at a pumpkin pinata.

The race: Boring, best I could tell. The Chase is in about the same place as we left it after Martinsville.

Dustin's story about Jimmie Johnson closing in on a Cup title is here. Dustin's notebook is here.

Two questions: Why would Robby Gordon throw something onto the track?
And is Junior the luckiest or dumbest guy in the Chase? (Story here.) Some days, I think it's both.