FIVE LAPS: Pre-Phoenix
First Saturday night race of the season. Whee!
Lap 1: This ESPN piece about Aaron Fike is a great little piece of journalism. Props to Ryan McGee for doing such a nice job on the story. But I don't think this is the thing that will shake NASCAR to its proverbial core. Think about the whole safety saga for a minute. There was a collective sad shrug when Kenny Irwin and Adam Petty died less than two months apart in 2000. Dale Sr.'s death at Daytona in Feb. 2001 was the holy-hell-we-need-to-do-something moment. Same with drugs. A few nobodies (Aaron Fike, Shane Hmiel, Kevin Grubb) get nailed, and NASCAR continues to say everything's fine. If Jeff Gordon or Junior or Jimmie Johnson gets busted, game on. Don't expect anything to change until that happens.
More rants after the jump.
Lap 2: I'm not the only one ranting this week. The Dude goes off on three-fourths of the Hendrick organization. I think he's a little too hard on Junior. The cousins have always acted like this, and the two of them rarely make a car better during a race. (Welcome to life as a Junior fan, btw.) But The Dude is a fan of the 24, and he's most hacked that Gordon drove like a blind man backwards last week at Texas. If it's any consolation, it's only the second time Gordon has finished 43rd. (The first time: 1999 at ... drum roll ... Texas!) That's only one more than Sam Hornish Jr. in 516 more career starts. Buck up, Dude!
Lap 3: Speaking of the Earnhardts ... If I had a cardboard cutout of Dale Sr., I'd have it under glass in a locked room and surrounded by security guards. Note to whoever is tempted to say the 5-foot tall cutout is "life sized": I'm pretty sure Senior was taller than 5 flat. The only drivers that small are Jeff Gordon and Kasey Kahne. Maybe Jamie McMurray, too.
Lap 4: If the Associated Press (aka the World's Largest News Cooperative) writes a story about you that might appear in hundreds of newspapers nationwide, are you really out of the spotlight?
Lap 5: Back to ranting for a minute. The fact that Michael McDowell has gained more fame (or notoriety, take your pick) for wrecking his car than driving his car leads to this one conclusion: Most people see racin' not as sport but as a death-defying freak show. You think Leno has booked Carl Edwards or that Jeff Burton will be on "Fox and Friends" anytime soon?
Green-white-checkers: Speaking of rants, WTF is up with this unbelievable conflict of interest? I'm not sure which is worse - Fox announcer Jeff Hammond owning resort property along with at least three drivers and a crew chief, or Fox announcer Darrell Waltrip calling races when he was shilling for Toyota. Fair and balanced my rear end.