News-Record.com

Ever seen that reality show, "Extreme Makeover?"

It seems Guilford, the uniform-wearing insect (center) who serves as the mascot of the Greensboro Grasshoppers, could've been a guest on the show over the off season. He unveiled his "fresh" new look (right) Monday at NewBridge Bank Park in the Hoppers' home opener.

The question around the water cooler the next day: "Did you SEE the new Grasshopper?"

The answers: "Ughhh, yeah." "I like the old one better." "It doesn't even LOOK like a Grasshopper." "Why'd they change it?"

The question I wanted to know: What happened to GiGi (left), presumably Guilford's main squeeze for several years running, and Timmy (too shy for pictures), who seemed a little slow but was OK with being the third wheel?

The official word from the Grasshoppers is this:

"The 2008 season will see Guilford take the lone reigns [SIC] over mascot duties at the ballpark with GiGi and Timmy finding alternate employment. Gigi, who unfortunately is allergic to dogs, moved to Grasshoppers Island in Australia and became a local tour guide. Timmy decided to stay local and will be working with students around the Triad as a staff member of the Bryan Family YMCA. Timmy will work with a variety of activities for the YMCA and will still be active throughout the Greensboro area."

Now, I don't like to gossip or start any rumors, but this story bugs me. (Yes, pun intended.)

See, I've been to Australia, and there's no Grasshoppers Island. I think it's a cover-up.

I think Guilford was gone for his fancy makeover too long. GiGi got tired of waiting on her beau, and Timmy started looking pretty good. (Frankly, he's a hunk compared to the new Guilford.)

And, of course, Guilford's the star, so he got them both axed.

Now, I can't prove it. But if you see any turtles with fuzzy red hair or any larvae with goofy grins around town, you'll know I'm right.

After walking my dog at the park earlier this week, I was somewhat dumbfounded that on my 10-mile drive home, we passed at least five Hummers. It's not like I've never seen any around town, but five within just a few minutes? Are there really this many most monster SUVs on the road in Greensboro? Was everyone out that day because the weather was nice? Whatever the reason, I just kept seeing them.

I have to admit that I don't understand the appeal of driving the same vehicle -- albeit a shiny black one with leather seats and a 30 CD changer -- that the military uses to cross rivers and carry troops through battle zones.

Maybe it's fun to ride up that high? Maybe you feel safer? Could it just be the cool factor of owning something called a Hummer instead of a Camry or a Neon.

Whatever made y'all buy one, I have to imagine that, these days, that cool factor fades a little bit every time you fill up the tank.

I was driving down Spring Garden a couple nights ago about 9 p.m. It was pretty dark, but UNCG's campus was lit up by luminarias. I was thinking how pretty it looked as I came to a stop behind a car already at a red light. Suddenly, both doors on the car flung open and two college-age women jumped out. I thought for a second they were going to dash around the car and switch places. Instead, they just did a little wiggly dance, hopped back in the car as the light turned green and drove off. And then it made sense: Hurrah for the end of exams!

So, you won't believe what I saw people doing today. Raking. Pretty crazy, huh?

I've been pretty sad this fall because I've seen oodles of people blowing leaves everywhere. I haven't seen a soul raking until today, when I saw TWO people doing it.

I realize leaf blowers are faster. They're even kind of fun to use: strap a big pack on your back and watch everything in your path shiver and quake.

But they're so loud. And some could argue they create pollution and make global warming worse. Not to mention how much it costs to fill them up with gas.

But that's not why I've been upset.

I'm scared the rake is destined to end up in museums or antiques stores. No one seems to use them anymore, and that's just a shame.

There's something wonderful and Robert Frost-like about raking. It's just one of those deeply embedded images of autumn.

And compared to leaf blowers, it's a serene activity. It's not adding to the hole in the ozone. It's free (unless you pay the neighbor's kid to do it). It's good exercise. And it's fun. Especially if you have a warm spot and a hot beverage waiting for you inside.

Written by Jennifer Burton

I'm not an early bird. I work nights, so something has to be pretty important to get me out of bed and out of the house on a cold morning.

But Saturday morning, I woke up and walked the mile or so from my house downtown. I had a job to do. Walking a dog. Not MY dog, like I do every other morning. Today, I was going to help walk the News & Record’s dog ... a giant helium-filled pup with a rolled up newspaper in its mouth... in the Greensboro holiday parade.

This is my second year walking in the parade, and I continue to be impressed by how it boosts my holiday spirit.

I've been to plenty of parades in my life, but I don't remember crowds being so animated. When I was a kid, my primary goal was to be able to see over the crowd and to snag a few pieces of candy. In high school, we went to Charlotte's parade to see my good friend, who was a Carousel queen. When I lived up north, I dragged my husband to New York about 7 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving and stood with a zillion other people, packed so tightly you couldn't turn around, to witness the Macy's parade.

As many times as I've been a spectator, I don't ever remember cheering or clapping or wishing the participants a Merry Christmas.

But the people of Greensboro do all those things. I could feel them hold their breath as we threaded our balloon through traffic lights overhead. When we'd spin our news hound around the street, the crowd erupted in applause and cheers. And I can't count the number of happy folks who wished us a "Merry Christmas" or shouted, "Happy Holidays."

So, to all those who lined the streets for the parade, I just wanted to say, "Thank you."

Your Christmas spirit is absolutely infectious.

Parade slide show here.