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I talk to one ex once in a while on myspace which irked her current boyfriend. The only reason I spoke to her was to tell her that a friend of hers moved back here from Brazil and needed to get her phone number. Her bf was probably ready to fight but she was able to set him straight on the situation. After finding out he was up in arms about the whole thing, it was kinda hard not to tell her that she could do so much better than that.

Here is a fun question, do you eat at the restaurant where your significant's ex is a server, cook, dishwasher or bartender? I refuse to eat at one restaurant because i know her ex is a dishwasher. He may be a dishwasher but he is closer to the food prep than people think.

I only talk to one of my ex's. I think the reason I can talk to her but none of the others is because we let our relationship run it's natural course to the point where we knew it wouldn't last long term so we mutually decided to end it. My other relationships ended either because the girl got cold feet or a couple that found someone new so it doesn't feel right to try maintaining a friendship with them.

I think it's awesome that your friend can stay on good terms with exes. And overcoming the understandably rigid barriers that come with everybody's next relationship is an amazing feat. But I can't imagine investing the effort.

I don't think you're weird, you just have different priorities.

So do I. I'm as lazy post-relationship as I am while I'm in the relationship. My life is hard enough. I need my relationships to be easy.

And my relationships have tended to end explosively, so we tend not to talk afterward. But I do have one ex who sends me the occasional e-mail. I really like him and I could totally enjoy a friendship with him now that the dust has been settled for years. The problem is: our relationship was very on-again/off-again while we were dating and I'm worried that I might have to impress upon him that this hasn't been just a multi-year off-again period. And I was pretty mean that last time we broke up. It just doesn't seem worth the work. Maybe it would be if he were around, but he's in Chicago. We wouldn't be hanging out anyway.

Savant-
Go to the bistro anyway. Everyone has exes, and folks should just accept that.

On that line - a buddy of mine has been with a girl for a good long while, and just the thought of his exes sends her into an emotional tailspin. My buddy says "I've got exes, you got exes. But you're with me, so, big deal."

Early in a relationship, I could see this as being an issue, I told him, but at some point you have to just suck it up and deal with the fact that we've all gotten with someone before.

You gotta learn from something, right?

My first girlfriend and I have become re-acquainted via email and phone. She was 16 I was 17 when we first met. We were each other's college sweethearts 2+ years(she forged her parents name on a GED application and "graduated" early) then we broke each other's heart. She married twice, I married once then about 10 years ago unknown to each, we both divorced. We hadn't talked in 20 years when she called me out of the blue one night 5 years ago.

We are each other's oldest friends and are ties to each other's past going back nearly 30 years. There's no pretension, or games, it's simply a great friendship where we both can open up with no fear of rejection or disapproval. It's a pretty unconditional relationship.

We both live hours apart and haven't seen each other yet and I don't know that I want to get married again, I'm getting old and settled in my ways. She's the eternal optimist though and kids me about a future "us" every time we talk.

My high school sweetheart is a Commercial sales investment coordinator something or other..in Spain. I had knew she could speak spanish but i didn't know she ended up that well. That is a relationship i would love to restart. Even if its just to know someone in spain.

Idiot Savant -

Are you afraid your girlfriend's ex is going to spit in your food?

Wingfella -

I think there's a difference, though, between understanding that someone has a past and knowing that your partner is talking to or spending time with someone they dated/loved/slept with in that past.

The first is reality you've just gotta accept, although you don't have to talk about it all the time. The second? I'm not sure whether someone should have to deal with that.

anyone who has worked in a restaurant knows that the thought has crossed someone's mind back there more than once.

Hugh-

It's great to hear that you and your former sweetheart managed to catch up again. Old friends are the best friends.