First boyfriends: So, do you have a type?
About a week ago, I came to accept a tough truth about myself: I have a history of dating nerdy guys.
The ones who played Dungeons and Dragons in high school. Think Sam in "Freaks and Geeks." Think Xander Harris on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
I've been firmly entrenched in this pattern for the past seven or eight years.
There was the long-term boyfriend who toted his computer around in the car trunk in case his friends wanted to have a LAN party, some sort of pointless gathering where the guys sat in a room and played computer games with each other from individual terminals. There was the one who painted little figurines from the gaming store and arranged them on the top of his dresser. The list of oddities goes on and on.
Not so with my first boyfriend (and just to be clear, I'm not counting 7th grade crushes who gave me stuffed animals from the drug store on Valentine's Day).
No, my first boyfriend was one of the cool kids.
He looked sort of like one of those half-naked posters you see on the walls in Abercrombie and Fitch. Sure he was smart (he went to some ivy league school and is becoming a doctor, I think). But he also was popular, athletic, pretty much a chick-magnet, and what my parents probably thought was a good prospect - a sign that their daughter would go on to have a healthy dating life.
When people talk about having a type, I nod and smile. My chain of geeks - five or so that I dated and at least a handful more who became repeated hook-ups - is too long to deny. Then I wonder where that first boyfriend came from.
And whether he was, in the end, just too cool for me.
Do you have a type? And, if so, how has it worked out for you when you diverged from that pattern?
Comments (9)
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According to research posted at Slate, most women have a type: hunky.
Or kind of muscular.
Anyway, I'm going to the gym tonight.
Here's the link: http://www.slate.com/id/2170016/
-scroll to the second bit.
Posted on July 10, 2007 10:33 AM
Ginger,
LAN parties are fun! If you get a flat panel monitor and a compact computer case with great cooling, its not that hard to store it in the trunk just in case a party happens and World of Warcraft is on tap. After saying that, I will now watch sports center and have a few beers to get my jock status back.
Posted on July 10, 2007 3:08 PM
Idiot Savant -
Good luck with that.
Posted on July 10, 2007 4:43 PM
I've heard buddies of mine have the type-talk a bunch of times, and it always seems that the folks who seek a certain type of person end up being much more disappointed than those who dive in and discover a pattern in hindsight.
Some folks, like a certain friend of mine did for a number of years, will take it one step further - building up the merits of a certain strata of dude or lady without dating around. Once this pal mustered up the gumption to get out there and see folks, her blinders kept her mired in a group of like-acting yahoos. I haven't heard of that particular approach yielding a whole bunch of happy endings.
As for my type, for some reason I go for th' crazy. I'm happy now, but in the past I've tended to get so caught up in the proverbial flat-screen monitor that I don't realize there's not enough cooling in the case.
And you know what that means. Or at least I hope you do, because I sure don't.
Posted on July 10, 2007 5:33 PM
If by "type" you mean "the crazy ones" -- then yes.
Posted on July 10, 2007 5:56 PM
Yeti -
Not sure I know what that means, but I can sympathize with the crazy thing. I've dated some pretty off the wall people - most of whom still fit into that geek-type framework.
Do you think there's something more appealing about people who skirt the edge of sanity? There's a certain degree of risk - and adventure - there.
Posted on July 11, 2007 12:56 PM
For guys I think it is, honestly, that crazy women are less inhibited sexually.
What women get out of dating crazy men I'm not sure.
I should call some ex-girlfriends...
Posted on July 11, 2007 8:14 PM
I can assure you, the geeky ones make the best husbands :) I wouldn't trade mine for all the world. I dated a wide variety of guys before getting married -- artistic drama boys, overeager journalists, Mensa types, mama's boys. But all of the best ones? Hardcore geeks :)
Posted on July 17, 2007 11:57 PM
I don't know Mel - those guys all sound pretty geeky to me ;).
Posted on July 18, 2007 4:35 PM