First Greensboro adventures
My friends who live in big cities - mainly New York - complain constantly that they're surrounded by people but can't meet anyone.
For a long time, I thought that was ridiculous. During the time I spent up in that city, I had no problem meeting guys - at bars, at the farmer's market, even art museums.
So when I moved to Greensboro a few years ago, I thought 'No problem.' Making social headway outside my office was going to be a snap.
Not so.
My first few months in the Gate City were a pathetic exercise when it came to the social scene. I'd hit up Cafe Europa or Solaris and start a conversation with an interesting guy or girl at the bar. I'd chat someone up at Natty Greene's and hand out my phone number, hoping someone would find it later in their jeans' pocket and pick up the phone. No one did.
I don't know if my problem was in the come on or the conversation - whether it was the way I looked or the way I acted. And - to be clear - I wasn't even looking for a date. This was all about making friends and finding some bonds outside of work or my college friends in a somewhat unfamiliar city.
The low point came when I found myself telling a stranger how much I wanted to make friends, how cool I thought she was and how much I'd like to go out sometime. Not, let me tell you, a particularly appealing sell.
Predictably, once I stopped being so desperate, people started showing interest. I got asked out on dates. Men wanted to chat with me. And I even started conversations with a few women who could be potential friends.
But it still doesn't seem easy.
Have you had a hard time meeting people in the Triad? Am I going to the wrong places and taking the wrong approach?
If any of you are recent transplants to the area, I'd love to know how you've picked up dates or found new friends here.
Comments (10)
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I've had a little trouble meeting new folks here too. One of the things is that Greensboro seems to be a very "click" driven place. My experiences hanging out downtown are that a lot of folks that hung out together in high school are still hanging in the same clicks and it's hard to introduce an outsider into a well established group of friends.
Another way I've tried to meet new friends in the area other than hanging out at bars downtown is attending a couple of the singles functions. There doesn't seem to be many twenty to thirtysomethings attending those though. Most of the folks there were in their 40s, divorced, kids, which is not a bad thing...I just don't have as many common interests.
I guess there is always the option of trying to meet people online with similar interests, but that opens up an entirely different set of problems.
Posted on July 11, 2007 1:32 PM
as a person who has always lived in greensboro, its hard when you realize you've outgrown the group of friends that you have. Having a day job, i cant stay out to all hours of the night partying or hanging out. Finding new friends with similar interests is also hard too when you realize you want something new but arent sure exactly what that is. I think it would be nice to backpack across Europe and find myself.
Posted on July 11, 2007 6:41 PM
Some of my co-workers have had a lot of success meeting new people through churches, nonprofits or other groups based on a cause or common ideology.
That seems to work well - if you have a particularly ideology you're really attached to.
I don't.
Toddler - what sorts of singles functions have you found in the area?
Idiot Savant - as a lifelong Greensboro resident, do you feel like you always see the same people and do the same thing? Or is this area growing enough to give you some variety?
Posted on July 11, 2007 8:48 PM
Ginger - the radio station 99.5 WMAG used to have "Singles Mingles" at different locations around the Triad. I haven't looked to see if they're still doing that or not.
Posted on July 12, 2007 9:18 AM
Yes, it is hard to meet people around here. I went on myspace b/c a b/f was on there (another story unto itself). I grew up here, but I would like to make some friends, men and women alike, to do things with sometimes. I'm told I'm attractive. I'm college educated, decent job, friends, but I have a hard time finding people to go out to dinner with sometimes! It's crazy! It's hard when you work and have a house, etc. to do things. I've never been to see the Grasshoppers play. I'm not going to walk in there by myself. Guys, we should meet.
Posted on July 12, 2007 9:50 AM
Lisa -
Have you had any luck meeting people on MySpace? I always find people's profiles confusing and hard to navigate - and it seems like people just accumulate "friends" they don't really know just to build up a backlog.
The whole meeting local people online thing strikes me as kind of strange. But one of my best friends, who lives in a city up north, met her boyfriend of a few months through Match.com or some similar site. And that seems to be working out OK for her.
Posted on July 12, 2007 10:39 AM
Hey, Ginger. Yeah, you do have to be careful on myspace or any other website, for that matter. People are free to be anyone they want online. I have met several people on myspace who have become good friends. I did meet someone on match.com but I haven't been on there lately. I guess I am guilty of accumulating friends. Always good to have friends. If you look at my myspace today, I have 96 "friends". But here I am responding to a blog about how hard it is to meet people, lol. Myspace has broadened my social network, for sure. You never know where one contact might lead.
Posted on July 12, 2007 11:52 AM
I looked at networks on Facebook and saw that there are a few people living in Greensboro who are from my hometown and I thought "great, people I have something in common with." But I'm pessimistic about how that will work out. Has anyone had success making a real, in-person friend from an online contact?
Posted on July 12, 2007 12:09 PM
I've reconnected with people online and rekindled relationships, but I don't know that I've ever made a new, lasting connection with someone through a social-networking site.
First encounters online seem so strange to me because, just as with e-mail, it's hard to catch the nuances of what someone is saying. For me, that makes it more challenging to figure out what a person's all about.
Toddler - I couldn't find out anything about those "Singles Mingles" from the station's Web site. That might be worth some further investigation, though. I have a few friends who have met people at those Rhino Times Schmoozefests, though I'm kind of embarrassed to say that here.
Posted on July 12, 2007 12:41 PM
For me myspace has worked for reconnecting with old friends from school or staying in touch with people I meet at parties or friends of friends. I haven't had any luck making a fresh connection with someone I hadn't already met in person.
Posted on July 12, 2007 1:44 PM