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Some have just jumped ahead and asked me if I have kids. Right. I tell them that I've not found anyone that would put up with me enough to want to be my wife, let alone bear a child that would be a little half-me.

I got the marriage question a lot when I lived with my last girlfriend. I always thought it was kind of presumptuous...but maybe that's just the Yankee in me.

My friends too are getting married by the droves. I've been in two weddings in the last two months. It's getting expensive...

I have one wedding to go to in august and that'll be it for a while for me. I have a few answers for my family when they ask about me having a wife or kids soon.

1. You'll see them when I show them to you.
2. I can't afford a wife or a kid, let alone both together.
3. Yeah, I've been looking through this catalog, I have a picture of number 43...
4. I'm still looking for the first Mrs. savant. The second and third have already been picked out.
5. But, I'm still screwed up. Explain to me why I should be a parent and ruin that kid's life?
6. We don't like to put labels on our relationship. Or atleast that is what I bet she would say.

Luckily, the kids-related questions haven't started coming yet.

The marriage thing is just tough because people seem to think dating someone comes with an expiration date - after a year, two years, whatever, you're almost expected to get married. And if not, there's got to be something wrong with you, or with your relationship.

I have no gripe with marriage or watching my friends and family go there. But I don't want to head down that road until I'm absolutely ready and fairly sure that things won't go sour. (I guess you can't ever be completely sure.)

Sometimes I tell people that, but I think it comes off as way too blunt.

Unfortunately with the marriage rate the way it is, the way people are portrayed during a divorce and the end result seeming that the guy loses everything, I really have no interest in getting married unless I have an iron clad pre-nup. I don't have much but it would suck to be married for less than two years and lose everything.

When I get the "when are you two..." I invoke my gen-x cynicism: When has bringing in the government ever improved anything? Why should I expect it to be any different with my relationship?

I just graduated from college and 4 of my friends, all 22, are getting married in the next year. One of my friends got married a month before she graduated with me! I think it's ridiculous! Most of them have been with their significant others through most of college, but my thought is, if you have lasted 3-4 years of dating, what is another 2-3 years so you can establish yourself in the workforce, financial independence etc. I'm sick of young women, more like immature girls, thinking that they need to be married to fulfill something in their life. Get a job, pay your own bills, go to bars now that you actually can! A lot changes when you are no longer in college, and being married right away, for what is supposed to be the rests of your life at 22 is a mighty long time.

Hi Ashley -

I'm a little torn on that issue.

My parents got married when they were both 20. They had me a few years later. A couple years after that, my brother came along. More than 20 years later, they're still passionate about each other and happy together. There were some really tough times, but they sort of evolved by experiencing those challenges together. And I think that's helped them stay close.

On the other hand, that was 20-plus years ago. Things have changed somewhat. People's priorities and attitudes toward dating and marriage have changed. And I've known enough people who have gotten engaged or married just for the trappings - a ring, a big party, a fancy dress. After the party's over, it doesn't take long for the gloss to wear off.

Sounds like you're almost angry at your friends who've taken the plunge. Do you think their marriages will have much longevity?

I'm not angry with my friends, but I am someone that firmly believes that marriage should be forever. My parents have been married for 30 years, and worked through good times and bad, but this is 2007 and people get divorces like renting movies, keep them for a little while, then wait until the new release comes out and trade it in. I really don't think that at 22 years old, you know much about who you are as a person or much about what you are truly looking for in a person. I mean, how much real dating has a 22 yr. old done? You can barely make it into a bar without getting carded never mind pick your life partner. I just wish people thought longer about marriage and stopped rushing.

I expect any marriage that happens before both folks are 25 to fail. If it doesnt, great!

Yeah, speaking from experience, and I'm much older than you guys, you really don't know much about yourself until you're 30. That's what I'm telling my kids - try to wait until then; you'll have a better chance at being in a long-term relationship.

After a 15-year marriage, I went through divorce, and my counselor said that when she sees people getting married in their 20's, she calls that their "practice marriage." Kinda sad, don't you think?
But these days, when men and women have opportunities and there's no stigma to being single, why sacrifice your independence and take such a big step at such a young age? I guess it's hard when you're young and in love...