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Just keep it simple. Candles with dinner. Walks in the park. Don't force it.

Don't be fooled by Hallmark, Disney and the diamond industry. A romantic act doesn't have to be some grand gesture.

I once came home early to clean the kitchen--a chore I usually left to my girlfriend because I hate washing dishes for some reason. We had cooked a big meal the night before and skipped the cleaning up part before going to bed.

When she came home, the dishes were washed, the counters were wiped clean and the floor was scrubbed. She claimed it was the most thoughtful and most romantic thing I ever did during our relationship.

Sure, romance can be cheesy if it's a pre-planned evening of horseback rides along the beach at sunset, red rose petals on the floor or pretty much anything else you've seen in a romantic comedy or most chick flicks.

But that's no reason to scorn it.

I'm anything but a hopeless romantic. But when a guy brings me flowers he picked himself - not for any special occasion, but just because - I'm into that.

Cooking together and sharing a bottle of wine in the kitchen seems pretty romantic - and sexy - to me. Planning a hiking trip or a casual picnic; reading to each other; taking off or staying at home together for a weekend just to have time alone ... the list goes on.

I'm with James C. here: There's no grand gesture required.

Maybe I'm holding the bar too high. I think this is what turned out to be the moral in the Simpsons episode -- that romance is the thousand thoughtful things people do for each other and they don't have to be grand gestures.

But it seems to me like we have a special word for a reason. All of that daily thoughtfulness is great -- totally the backbone of a relationship -- but, well, mundane. My boyfriend cleaned the bathroom and I knew it was the purest distillation of his heartfelt love, and it made me super happy, but I hope I never have to call that romance. Maybe I just don't have the right kind of imagination.

What are are you guys using to decide what is and isn't romantic?

Ginger comes closest to describing my romantic moments. They are the special times you have with your partner that are unplanned and you wish could last forever. Cooking a meal together and having such a great time in the kitchen, the course itself is anti-climatic. Coming across a really bad movie or show while flipping channels and entertaining each other with snide comments. A lazy morning in bed.

Or it's spying a bed of wildflowers on your way over to see her and you pick some because you actually remember those are her favorite type of flowers.

The only grand romantice gesture I can recall that truly made someone happy was when I took a girlfriend to her favorite restaurant for her birthday. It felt like a hollow gesture to me, but it's what she wanted and it made her happy, so who am I to argue?

But I still prefer the simple gestures.

One of my first dates with my husband ended up being the most romantic completely accidentally -- after a movie, we didn't want it to end, so we went to a park and sat on the swingset, talking late into the night and holding hands. I think there is a place for romance, but it usually comes when it's not planned to be "romantic" -- it has always happened when it's not planned for us.

Also, the little things can be incredibly romantic, too. I wrote on my personal blog that I was irritated I hadn't had time to get a book that had come out that day before work, never mentioning the book title. When I got home, it was waiting on the bed for me -- my husband had figured it out based on past conversations and things I mentioned in the journal. Or last night, when I was having a hard time making a decision on where to eat -- and he made the perfect choice, smiling. When I asked him why he was smiling, he said, "You always seem to go for that one when you get bored with everything else." So it really is all about the paying attention to the little things.

I guess you've just got to trust how your gut feels, when it comes to romance.

I remember a guy I dated, early in college, who surprised me on Valentine's Day first thing in the morning. He had snuck into my room during the night and put enormous stuffed animals, chocolate and flowers everywhere. I turned over in bed, looked around, and couldn't help diving back under the covers.

It was big, pink carnage. Not pretty.

More than a year ago, though, my boyfriend took the afternoon off from work and drove an hour here. He went grocery shopping and made me dinner, which was on the table when I got home. It wasn't a special day. There wasn't anything big going on. He just felt moved to do that. And he didn't expect anything in return. That, to me, seemed pretty romantic.