Rules of the dating game
I was thinking over the weekend about Ruby's post from Friday and the different rules couples have in their relationships.
On the one hand, I know men who don't go out, one-on-one, with women other than their girlfriends or wives. And I know women who have the same policy.
On the other hand, I have good friends who go out as they please, with anyone they please. They trust their boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses, and their partners trust them not to misbehave. And that's as complicated as it gets.
I fall somewhere in between: I don't mind if my guy has female friends. But if he talks to the same girl all the time, goes out drinking with her often, crashes at her place or ends up in date-like situations with her, I'm going to raise hell about it.
Of course, relationship rules don't just cover who you spend time with. They might apply to how long you date someone before stepping up the commitment; how fast you hop into bed with someone; when to say "I love you;" how a guy treats his exes; what a girl says to her friends about what happens in the bedroom.
In my rulebook, you've got to date someone for at least a year before moving in with them or getting engaged. Saying you love someone is OK, as long as it doesn't end up just being routine. Even if you love me, limit the PDA - too much public touching is a major turn off, and it's just not classy. And sharing generalities about your sexual satisfaction is fine - as is picking up tips from friends - but dishing intimate details about your partner's sexual prowess seems like dirty pool.
What dating rules do you have?
Comments (3)
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Though I don't really have a hard and fast rule about the solo outings with folks of the opposite sex, I've found it always helps if your buddy has met the person you're dating or at least has a good picture of them.
It reminds me of something Wingfella said a couple of posts back about the second-guessing issue. I've found if the person I'm dating hasn't met my friends of the opposite sex, I get a lot of repeated "Is she cute?" questions. I don't think it's an unreasonable rule to give whoever you're dating a decent picture of who your friends are. That'll help the segue into more serious dating territory.
Posted on July 30, 2007 10:18 AM
My dating rule would be that my boyfriend shouldn't check out other women, especially my friends, and especially in front of me.
My friends have a dating rule that one of us can't try to date a guy that another friend has dated.
Posted on July 30, 2007 3:05 PM
Wild-
Yeah, that happens. Your woman wants to be the only woman, and that's it. The threat (real or not) of others seems to make many in relationships worry.
Posted on July 31, 2007 12:20 PM