What drives him crazy?
Every guy I date has little quirks and habits that annoy me.
It's just a fact of relationships - as you grow closer to a person and better appreciate the best things about them, you can't help noticing some of those irksome traits.
Last night, I started thinking about some of my own. After all, I've spent a lot of time on this blog being snarky about other people's love lives, and I haven't put much effort into analyzing my own.
I'm sure people I've dated would gladly add more annoying traits to this list - and some of them would be more biting than anything I've come up with.
But so far, here are the top contenders I've come up with:
* I'm demanding and controlling. There's a certain way to do almost everything. And I'm not going to hold back if I think you've botched a process.
* Details are important. So important that I get bogged down in them and can be kind of obsessive sometimes.
* I'd rather sleep on the opposite side of the bed. Cuddling is great, but I've got limits when it comes to sharing personal space.
* I get bored easily. Most of the time, I'll follow your story to the end. But sometimes the glazed look in my eyes is going to wear on you.
* I'm a cat person, and that's non-negotiable.
* I can be overzealous about healthy eating and hitting the gym, even when you just got home from a long day at work and just want to sit on the couch, drink beer and watch basketball.
* I don't understand football. I never will. And you can't teach me.
What about you? Are there traits you know annoy your significant other? And are there things about people you've dated that just drive you crazy?
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Things I know about me that have annoyed girlfriends:
* I tend to ramble.
* I like staying up late watching bad TV. Or good TV, if applicable.
* I like sleeping in.
* I'm picky about lending out my books, films and music.
* Nine times out of 10, I hate picking the restaurant.
* I'm not big on public displays of affection.
There are more I'm sure, but I'm actually up earlier than planned (thanks neighbors).
As for annoying quirks and habits from previous girlfriends, two come to mind:
* Asking me what I'm thinking about.
Unless you really want to know, never ask this question. As much as I care about you, I'm not thinking about you 24/7. And yes, it is possible for me to be thinking at that very minute about a scene from a TV show I saw five years ago.
* Suggesting changes to my wardrobe.
I dress for comfort and I found what I like best. Don't tell me what to wear and I won't suggest the barely-there mini and stiletto heels again.
Again, there are more, but those two are all that come to mind since it's too early to be awake (thanks again, neighbors).
Posted on July 25, 2007 9:59 AM
Like James, I don't want to get a book of mine back from you with the spine busted. Also, my tendency to waffle on what to eat/where to go for dinner has always been a bigtime issue in my relationships.
-- I tend to muffle my gripes about the way the other person is behaving, which makes me seem distant/tough to read emotionally sometimes. I cite politeness, but I think it's really apprehension that keeps me from criticizing other people's behavior. I've been around so many critical folks, I tend to wanna be the calming Yin to their raging Yang. Or something.
-- I like down time. I'm not lazy - I just appreciate a bit of controlled inertia as much as the next man.
-- I lose things. Constantly. This one's a killer for the Type-A folks.
-- Though I don't usually offer strong, unsolicited opinions on things, a outspoken date will make me more opinionated - usually in the other direction - almost to the point of being reactionary. It's not that I even know what I'm talking about, really, I just feel compelled to bridge the gap.
There are plenty more, but those are some of the heavy hitters.
Posted on July 25, 2007 10:19 AM
James and Fuzzy -
Neither of you would ever want to lend a book to me, then. That's a partner pet peeve I forgot to add to the list:
* I try to take good care of things, but I'm terrible about books. I'll take them in the bathtub, to the beach, to the kitchen table, wherever. All of mine are falling apart or full of bent corners or covered with funny spots.
Posted on July 25, 2007 11:22 AM
Fuzz-
I hear ya on the Yin-Yang issue.
Something that's pissed off lots of people through the years is a tendency to want to be a solver. Often it just comes off as taking the other side, when you're really hoping to show them another way of thinking.
I'm also unlikley to believe someone just for the sake of believeing them. Especially with this whole issue of wanting to fact-check things that we journos have.
What I've learned, though rarely practice, is that often my mate will want a sounding board for their problem. Not a solution.
And from women, one killer is second-guessing me. For example (after a conversation about what cafe/movie/store to visit):
Me: Well, let's just go to (cafe/store/movie).
Her: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah, I just said I don't mind.
Her: But that's what you want to do?
Me: Yeah. (and the mild irritation simmers, etc.)
Posted on July 25, 2007 11:26 AM
I should have clarified earlier: There are certain books, films and music I won't lend out. Hence, me being picky.
Posted on July 25, 2007 12:53 PM
And thanks for the image of you in the bathtub. I'm getting nothing done now. : )
Posted on July 25, 2007 1:08 PM
Wingfella -
Guilty as charged when it comes to second-guessing. I'm one of those chicks who never stop with that. It's not that I'm indecisive; I just often don't believe that people really want to go to a certain movie or eat at a certain place unless they're effusive about it right away.
That trait has been a constant source of annoyance for nearly everyone I've ever dated. Guess I should just take people at their word more often.
Posted on July 25, 2007 2:19 PM
wingfella
yup i hate second guessing too. just decide and do it. if it is a bad decision, learn from it. life is too short to waste on ums and ahs. do you think i am might be impulsive?
Posted on July 26, 2007 11:35 AM
blah-
Life is too short to waste on ums and ahhs.
Not everything's an impulsive decision, but the simeple decisions should remain that way.
Ginger-
Yeah. Just because the guys aren't excited doesn't mean we don't like it.
Posted on July 26, 2007 5:58 PM