News-Record.com

Living together is a complicated issue in my family.

Growing up in a more conservative, religious household, I was spoonfed the idea that shacking up with a boyfriend someday would be a grave sin. Not only would it put a stain on my reputation, but also it likely would make any future marriage more likely to end badly, according to my mother.

I didn't really think about that until, within the past few years, everyone I know started moving in together. Suddenly party invitations came from a pair of people. My girlfriends began referring to home as "our house."

For a while, I stayed a member of the anti-cohabitation crowd. Not because I thought that was the moral high ground. And not because I had any problem with other people sharing space - though I was surprised at how quickly people would move in together, committing to shared space and a shared life after only a few months of dating.

I just didn't like the idea. Sharing a bathroom with a guy on a regular basis? No thanks. Having someone else around in the mornings when I'm grouchy and the evenings when I just want to decompress from the work day? Not the best idea.

One night, I found myself at a bar with a close friend, both of us ranting about how we weren't going to get tied down. Then, less than two months later, I decided to move in with my boyfriend of two years.

The response from my family was not good, to say the least. No one disowned me, but there was a constant stream of disapproval and I heard many lectures on how this would ruin marriage for me and drive my future chances of a happy union downhill.

I think friends found it funny, now that I'd followed suit and made a decision to do something I'd so strongly opposed before.

Deciding to live together, though, didn't make me a total convert to the arrangement. I'm not anti-cohabitation, but I also haven't joined the camp of people who believe it's a necessary step in a relationship and important to try on before marriage.

So weigh in, people. Where do you stand on living with your significant other? When is it a good thing, and when is it a problem? And what have your experiences told you about the way living with someone changes or affects your relationship?