Dating with an STD
I had a tough conversation with a childhood friend earlier this week.
She's in her mid-20s, in graduate school and generally living it up after four years in a serious relationship that went bust. We don't get to talk often, being in different time zones with busy schedules. But we like to share stories about the places we go and the people - usually guys - we meet from time to time.
But when she called this week, I knew it was about something more serious. Her doctor ran some tests at a recent appointment, and it turns out she has HPV.
Now my friend, an attractive girl with an active dating life, doesn't know what to do. It's still setting in, I think, that she has a sexually transmitted disease. She doesn't know where it came from. (She's careful, she says, and uses protection when she's not in a long-term, monogamous relationship.) And she's struggling with the prospect of telling this to the guys she meets, if and when things get serious.
I tried to assure her that something like that wouldn't make the worthwhile guys shy away. (After all, about 20 million people have HPV, and - a shocking figure here - 80 percent of women will have picked up one of these infections by age 50.)
But I had to wonder, really, how other people might react when she shares this news. So I decided to bring that conversation here, since all of you readers can be anonymous in your responses.
Would you date someone who has HPV or another sexually transmitted disease? Have you ever done that? And have you ever had to face the possibility of an STD changing your life and your feelings about dating and relationships?
Comments (2)
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I have several close friends with HPV- and they've had it for years. They've had casual sex, and relationships. They've only opened up about it in their relationships, and the male response has been supportive and, well, willing to keep doing the act.
Posted on September 19, 2007 1:59 PM
well if they get to it and then she tells them once the relationship gets serious, the guy is already screwed (no pun intended) so he might as well keep going. in the whole STD scheme of things, its not as bad as some others but i think I might still freak out of she told me she had it. hopefully she would tell me before and not after.
Posted on September 20, 2007 10:20 AM