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Talk dirty to me

Sorry about the late post today, all. The rain's throwing me off my regular schedule.

So last weekend I was poking through a used book store when I found a hilarious book of dirty limericks, some dating back more than a hundred years. Most of them were so filthy I couldn't even write the first line here - and the book was made even funnier by the fact that it was totally serious and academic, with footnotes and everything.

I found myself propped up between bookshelves for about 20 minutes, alternately giggling like a third grader and being totally appalled that anyone's mind could be that dirty.

Dirty talk's funny, but I wouldn't ever call it a turn-on.

I'm more likely to laugh than to get thrilled when someone tries out spicy language in the bedroom. I think people generally come off as ridiculous when they try to talk dirty, whether it's in person, on the phone, or through text messages or some other format. It's too contrived.

How do you feel about talking dirty to someone or having someone talk dirty to you? Is that sort of thing a turn-on? And how do you successfully toss that spice into your sex life without turning it into a joke or breaking the mood?

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Comments (9)

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Alaska said:

Dirty talk is fitting when in the right place or at the correct time. Sometimes in my experience I have found a little dirty talk in a joking sort of way gives me a clear sort of view on if it is a turn on or just a joke then go from there according on what mood the woman seems to be thinking at the time.

I get several joke emails per day and dirty limericks is part of the naughty jokes I receive.

I have a "friend" who likes for me to talk dirty to her while we're... uh, you know. Anyway, I've never been very comfortable with doing this so one night I replied to her request with, "Mud pies, axle grease, grass stains, mud wrestling, compost, stinky 90 weight transmission lube, diesel grease, potting soil........"

She seems to like that just as much as the stuff I can't post to your blog. Problem solved.

Now if she would only get over that other problem she might let me talk dirty some more.

Ginger said:

Hmmm ... never really thought about compost as a turn-on.

Grizzly Bear said:

Alaska- curious about those dirty limericks.

I've dated some guys who have gone way too far with the dirty talk, and it was pretty funny, but not at all a turn on. Other men have hit the nail on the head (ha!), and the mutual exchange of dirty talk was effective.

What about the most primo example of dirty talk: phone sex? Come on, you know you've done it! Is it a turn on, or do you participate just to help your partner out?

Joe Killian said:

Talking dirty with someone is a sort of a slippery slope.

Whenever that request comes up -- either implicitly or explicitly -- I always think: "Okay...but how dirty?"

There's not an Emily Post book about this and I think there's a fine line between what is "turn on" dirty and "get kicked out of bed" dirty.

Ginger said:

The phone sex thing just mystifies me, Grizzly. I won't say I haven't tried it a couple times, but it just feels so ridiculous.

Phone sex, talking dirty, etc. seem almost like trying too hard to be sexy. And when people try too hard, they usually fail or come off as forced. That's why so much dirty-talking just seems like a joke to me.

john said:

dirty talking is good and it turns on girls unless they want men to try harder

letih said:

I'm a girl, and nothing gets me hotter than dirty talk. I like things to be clear - he knows what I want, I know what he wants, well ok then! And I'm not sure how dirty some people get but things like your big --inside me makes my tight -- wet etc etc, i dunno.... i find it a HUUUUGE turn on, and every guy ive done it with has liked it, but its good to be careful makes you sound really skanky and can scare people away after they've got what they want.

meighan said:

i started dating a guy and he would like me to talk dirty to him and i just don't really know what to say.... anyhints anyone?

confuzed!

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