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This movie coming out, "Why Did I Get Married" has me thinking about that question from the front end: why bother with matrimony?

I was at a party last night with three married couples. My boyfriend and I have been together as long as two of the couples; we live together; we've talked about a permanent future together, but we're not in that big a hurry to make it formal -- not to mention the hubbub and expense of a wedding.

But last week, I was talking to a friend who does want to get married, but isn't sure if her longtime boyfriend is husband material. But she's also not sure why he wouldn't be, so she's sort of in limbo.

Now, I want the ring and the dress and the party, of course. And some aspects of marriage would be convenient, for example we rented a car recently and I had to fill out an entire form myself -- a whole page of initials and signatures -- that I wouldn't have had to if I were his wife.

But pretty much, our life is stable and united. I'm not eager to get the state or the church involved. I'm not anti-marriage, but I don't see what it's going to add to my life or relationship. But so many people see matrimony as the finish line: what all this dating is supposed to be for.

When you go out on a date, are you looking for "the one" right from the beginning? When do you start measuring a date against your internal spouse-o-meter?