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Cosmo has a feature where they poll 50 men and 50 women on the street about a celebrity to determine if she is girl hot or guy hot? For example they recently rated Cameron Diaz and according to their "poll," 66 percent of guys think Diaz is hot but only 38 percent of women agree.

I've had conversations like this with my friends and almost always the girls and the guys disagree. (In my experience this only really works when we're talking about women. I think we're more comfortable judging the attractiveness of women than men are comfortable judging other men.)

But why do we seem to disagree? What in a woman do other women find attractive that doesn't do it for men and vice versa? In my opinion, when women judge other women, they are really judging themselves. They want the scale of attractiveness to put themselves at the top of the list, so they'll give a good rating to a woman who is beautiful in a normal kind of way, a beautiful that is somewhat attainable.

The average woman, I would guess, is less forgiving of a woman who is held together by botox than a man would be. And women probably make snap judgments about other women's characters based on the way they dress or do their makeup, something I doubt men really take into account in a "girl hot versus guy hot" situation.

Is it just jealousy? And if men and women can't agree on what makes a woman attractive, how can we single women hope to make ourselves so?

Just to get the conversation going, let's experiment a bit. Angelina Jolie — girl hot or guy hot? How about Jennifer Lopez? And to shake things up a bit, let's judge George Clooney and, a personal fave, Jake Gyllenhaal.

It's hard to carry on a conversation when someone's checking her danged phone every five minutes for text messages.

So you know where I'm coming from on this, text messaging never has made much sense to me. Except when you need to be sly, text messaging is largely unnecessary. It's the grown-up version of passing a note in class.

On Saturday I walked from a conversation because of texting. My pal and I walked into a Charlotte bar and as I ordered a couple beers for us, the blonde next to me pointed me to her friend and said she needed some social interaction, that she was having a slow night, tired and so on.

I bit. We chatted, watched the LSU game and talked football.
It was innocent conversation, and I asked lots of questions to try to pull her out of the mid-Saturday evening blahs. Then she whipped out the phone, talking with me as she looked for some text message. This happened several times in about 15 minutes before I got fed up.

Hey, if you're going to do that, I can spend my time better elsewhere. So I left for the pool table.

And I gotta wonder - is there a way to be polite about pulling out your phone? Or do you just leave it in the bag for an evening?

Anymore, I see this kind of act all over the place. Yes, there are all kinds of reasons one might need to check messages/text/anticipate a call, but we're talking about the typical instance.

Have you ever walked because of bad phone manners?

Here's a question a friend e-mailed me the other day:

"Not having a car in college was OK. but what about after? I was planning a small dinner party at my place and my date informs me an hour before the party that she doesn't drive. Being the host, I can't leave to pick her up right before people are supposed to start arriving. Am I an idiot for not picking her up?"

My answer is, I guess how much of an idiot he is depends on how hot she was. But I suspect he can find an equally hot girl who is a little more conscientious. What do you think?

I never called a guy back for a similar reason -- I met him for drinks downtown after work -- both of our offices were there and I thought it was just convenient -- then he asked me for a ride home because he didn't have a car. He said his sister usually picked him up after work.

I'm pretty sure that I wasn't being classist; I'm pretty sure I just thought it was super annoying that he hadn't figured out a way to get himself home. I'm not even saying he had to say "Can you meet me for drinks? I'll need a ride home." But at some point before "OK, time to go," he could have perhaps mentioned that I was his ride home.

If it happened to my friend and it happened to me, I'm willing to bet that it happened to you: did you bail on somebody because they asked you for a ride?

I'm of the mindset that the best relationships grow out of friendship. I believe this even though it's never actually worked out for me. It just seems to make so much sense!

So what am I missing here? Guys always lament getting into "the friend zone," that place where mutual sexual chemistry apparently goes to die. But can't two people be friends first -- you know, get to know one another without ulterior motives coloring everything?

I googled "friend zone" and came across this guy who supposedly has figured out the key to escaping the friend zone. The first piece of advice is to make her feel that "You don't need her." In other words, don't make her a priority. Be flaky.
Sounds a whole lot like the theory that women only go for jerks. I think that sentiment underlies this whole "friend zone" idea. If the guy is too nice, he'll end up only being a friend. Solution? Be a jerk.

So what have you done when you've ended up in the friend zone and wanted out? Before you make the first move, do you have to come to terms with the fact that it might end the friendship? And ultimately, how did you accomplish your escape?

Duing the Christmas-Kwanzaa-Hanukkah-Solstice-Festivus season, you can find a good number of great dates that aren't available during the rest of the year.

Today, I want to hear some of your greatest hits and share a few of mine.

One great thing about Greensboro is the neighborhoods that hang tree balls over the yards and streets. You can bundle up with a sweater and a warm beverage and walk around under the lights after sunset. Very nice.

Going to Tanglewood's Festival of Lights on an off night (Monday-Thursday) is a good one.

A day trip to the mountains in your car or on PART, where you can get a little closer to cooler air and maybe even snow is great on a Saturday. Going to a cut-your-own tree farm is an old family trip that also works well as a date, especially if you combine it with a lunch at any of the good restaurants in Blowing Rock or Boone.

And there's the theater, the Nutcracker is playing somewhere all the time, and there are endless movies to rent and watch with your honey.

What are some of your better holiday dates? Do you go out into the crowds or hunker down at home?

Well, I always wondered about that place on Market Street, Q. After a party, and a beer at College Hill, I was driving home about 11 when I saw an open parking space at Q.

I'm not sure if it was the Will & Grace playing on TV, the mints in the bathrooms, or the old dude who said he'd like to perform something on me that keyed me off. But I stayed for two beers and then took off. And bathed myself in turpentine.

Before someone thinks that I'm gay-bashing (Some of my best friends are gay, and my stepsister is bisexual, really!), it was the creepiness of the guy, not the gayness of the bar, that made me want to scrub down.

And now, finally, ladies, I know how you feel when that scary, hairy guy at the bar comes up and asks if you'd want some company for the evening. Or when I hit on you.

I'm just sayin'.

By the way, as interiors go, Q is clean, neat and has a great setup. And the folks were really nice.

Do you have people who only call you when they have relationship problems?

A college friend called while I was making dinner with my boyfriend the other day. We caught up a little, and when I told her that we were cooking together, she said her husband would never do that with her, he seems to try to spend as much time as possible away from home.

Now, when I hear "my husband wants to spend as much time as possible away from home," that sounds like a major problem. I want to be empathetic, she is a dear friend and I don't want her to be unhappy. But the thing is, I've never met this guy. She met him after college and I couldn't make it to the wedding.

But I share this here because of a little rant about this issue I got from another friend:

"You know its going to be a long conversation because they call you exactly at 9 p.m. when the free minutes start on your cell phone. They complain about their significant other or the significant's family and all it does is ruin your tv show and/or bring you down."

That's almost exactly what happened. The husband's issue came from his family, she said and my friend is unhappy and alone. Unhappy, alone, and 800 miles from North Carolina. In the meantime, my dinner is getting cold.

I mean, we all have problems and need a friend to listen sometimes, but there are some people who never have good news. How do you deal with them?

So I know cheesy pick-up lines have been discussed here before. I have a slightly different topic to cover here today. Gettin holla'd at as I'm walking down the street or driving. I just don't get the point! I'm not your "shorty." I don't know you!

Tell me, am I supposed to run over and jump in the car with you? Or if I'm driving, pull over? Guys, have you ever yelled "compliments" at a girl with any expectation of anything or are you just blowing off steam? Should I relax and take it as a compliment? Most of the time, I just keep my head down and keep on going. Other times, my less lady-like qualities come out and I tell 'em what they can do (or point them in the right direction).

On a related note, a friend of mine once was in such a situation and invited the guys over to my apartment where she was heading. They didn't show up, to my relief. Maybe, unlike her, I'm just not cut out for this type of courting ritual.

Most of us would agree that this is the worst time of year to suffer through a breakup.

From Thanksgiving feasting to New Year's midnight smooches, it ain't easy to be alone around now. Especially if you're freshly alone.

The other week, I posted about what would make for good holiday dates. But what if you have no dates? Last night I watched a movie, some football and cooked a frozen pizza. Then down in my cold cold bed. Not bad for a Sunday.

Last year I had someone warm next to me. This year? Not there.

Yeah, there are possibilities on the horizon, but it can take a while to recover from full-on romance and then turn up the flame with another person.

But between this or that date, there are those still moments when you're sitting in a coffee shop and watching the couples bustle by with their lattes and hot chocolates. Or the plans you had once before now don't include bringing someone home to the family. In these times, I lean hard on my friends, maybe take a road trip, and look at the New Year as a way to reassess my situation and plan where I want to head from here.

What do you do?

I recently went on a first date (and hopefully it won't be a last) and the guy took me to a movie. I had a good time, the movie was entertaining enough and the conversation that we were able to have was smooth and comfortable. Unfortunately the conversation was relegated to the few minutes before the movie and the few minutes after.

Granted we probably would have combined the movie with some other activity but I simply didn't have the time that night. So while I enjoyed the date, I don't feel like I know significantly more about this guy than I did before.

Now I already knew that the movies are not a great first date unless dinner is included, but it got me to thinking about what would be the ideal place to go or activity to do for a first date where you are trying to get to know the other person and also find out if there is a real attraction there.

What are your first date locations/activities that help you decide if you want there to be a second date? On the flip side, what's the worst first date location or activity? (My guess would be a bar/heavy drinking. You're bound to divulge way to much information for a first date!)

Look folks, don't do anyone after the holiday office party.

There's no good reason, and it won't make you feel much in the way of deep feelings. This isn't any recent experience talking or anything (honest), but it comes from years of collected observation and wisdom from friends and co-workers. And it was the subject of a good blog that I read today.

If there's an ember of passion with someone at the workplace, stoke it at another time. But don't drop trousers for just anyone 'cause you're ready to jump in the sack. Actually, in our better moments, that's a pretty good rule for life. It's an even better rule for office environments.

Don't poop where you sleep. Anyone disagree?

During the holidays this year, my brother's girlfriend was brought home to meet my mother for the first time. She was nervous, I could tell, but things went well.

Later though, my mom started to pick my brain about this girl — who is great, by the way. She asked me if she cleans up around the apartment that she shares with my brother. (I have no idea.) When I asked her why she was wondering that, she responded that she noticed my brother making her plate for her and then putting it in the sink afterward. My mother thought she should have made her own plate and then cleaned up afterward, even though she was a guest in our house. Yeah, my mom is that old-fashioned!

My response to her was "I'd be a nervous wreck to meet you." But if my mom had to go that far to find something wrong with her, then the girlfriend probably did alright.

So what does it take for a significant other to impress your parents? And how far have you gone to impress a boyfriend or girlfriend's parents?

It's a short post today...maybe because I'm bitter and don't want to think about it!

Anyway, the topic today is that New Year's Kiss. The stroke of midnight on New Year's is starting to rank right up there with Valentine's Day as far as moments I think were invented to make single people freak out and/or feel bad about themselves. I've never had a spectacular New Year's kiss. In fact, one year that I'd rather forget, I was someone's second New Year's kiss! THAT was awful.

But please, regale me with stories of your best New Year's kisses. Or comfort me with your worsts.

And coming soon: Dating resolutions from the unbuttoned crew!