odd girl out
A guy friend came to me looking for some advice. He has a friend, a girl, with a problem he wants to help out with, but he's worried that his honest answer to the problem might be a bigger problem for him than the girl's issue in the first place.
I guess he thinks if he tells her how hot he thinks she is, she'll think he's into her, which, I guess, he's not.
The girl is frustrated because she feels neglected by men. She goes out with a pack of girls and regularly finds herself the only one not dancing with someone, not talking to someone... nothing.
So she posts something kind of desperate to her myspace page: "What's wrong with me?"
I, for one, have an easy answer for the girl: You're not acting trashy enough. Remember high school and "she's just doing that for attention"? That's the kind of thing you need to do to get attention in a meat market-type bar. If you want a guy's intellectual attention, look for one in a library or something.
But I'm more interested in the help we can give my friend. How can he give her a thoughtful and true answer without either encouraging her to pursue his affection or making her think he's into her. Either one of these would make his friendship with her awkward.
How can he tell her precisely what he thinks of her, which, presumably, will make her feel better, without suggesting to her that he feels more for her?
Comments (4)
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He just shouldn't say anything. That's what her girlfriends are for.
Posted on January 17, 2008 10:38 AM
I just got an e-mail from someone about this blog post. He said he sometimes feels left out of things, too.
I know I do, at times. I think most of us must. Is this girl just taking it too personally?
Posted on January 17, 2008 11:54 AM
Your guy friend should tell his hot female friend to just go out and have fun, to enjoy herself and not worry about feeling neglected. People seem to be able to sense desperation and that's probably the vibe she is giving off when she is out with her friends. All good things come (eventually) to those who go with the flow.
I guess acting trashy doesn't hurt either.
Posted on January 17, 2008 2:12 PM
Is the lady pouting in the corner because no one asked her to dance, or is she smiling and beaming, full of life and adventure. Guys want to be with ladies who know how to be fun and exciting with or without them. As a matter of fact, the bait is, or could be, I'm ok without you and attracts him to you...maybe? It is worth a try to be positive about your ok and I'm ok...
Posted on January 18, 2008 7:14 AM