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Omg can it just be tomorrow already!

I was at the video store on Wednesday night, staring at the box for "Paris, Je t'aime," trying to remember whether I had heard anything good about it. A guy walked up, seemingly out of nowhere, and picked up a different movie. I think maybe an action movie, definitely something I haven't seen.

So far so good, right? Normal movie store behavior. The guy asked me if I had seen it. I said, "nope."

But this is what got my attention: he pointed at this Sandra Bullock movie and said "You should watch that. You would like it."

I guess if the guy had been hot, I would have said, "Ooooh, I'll check it out, thanks!!" But he wasn't.

And really, I would only watch a Sandra Bullock movie if, at every moment she is on screen, Matthew McConaughey is also on screen without a shirt on.

So, without suggesting that any unsolicited movie recommendation is a come-on, I wonder if anyone ever has been picked up at the video store. Does that rate as a place to meet women? I was at Video Review on Battleground (or Lawndale or Westover Terrace, I'm not sure). Is there a video store that is better to find a date?

btw, I got "Hot Fuzz." Simon Pegg is my real boyfriend and all others are impostors.

This is a big week. It's a big week for all American citizens (Super Tuesday). And it's a big week for college basketball fans (if you don't know what I'm talking about, then I'm not talking about you!)

Lest you think I've forgotten what this blog is all about, I'll get to the point, now. A few weeks ago I went out on a date. When my friends asked me how it went, all I could muster was this statement: I don't know if I can date a Republican in an election year. Add to that, he is a Duke sympathizer (almost worse than a fan) and I was pretty much turned off.

Now MY political and basketball ideology aside (this is a dating blog and that's my feeble attempt to avoid a political or sports debate here), if you feel very strongly about a team, whether it be sports, politics, religion, whatever, can you date across that line? I understand the importance of broadening horizons and listening to other points of view, but that doesn't mean I want them espoused by my boyfriend. In my defense, he liked to talk over and interrupt me, making it near impossible for me to make a point in even the friendliest of debates.

I've heard stories about married couples who root for different teams across the eight-mile divide that defines a rivalry in college sports. Sometimes, hilarity ensues although I think it'd get pretty serious when kids are involved.

A couple whom I'm friends with, both Carolina fans, argue vigorously during games (over stuff like 'You're not wearing the right color! You jinxed us!) I'd hate to see what would happen if they weren't both rooting for the same team.

On the religious side of things, my parents come from very different religious backgrounds. When the dinner debate turns to religion, one usually leaves the table upset.

What do you guys think? Any stories of your own?

In closing, I'd like to send a message to my man Ty Lawson (not that he reads this blog or anything): If you can't play tomorrow, it's OK. We'll win anyway. And then you can help us ruin another Senior Night in March. (Comments contradicting that statement not welcome.)

I was catching up with an old friend from college recently. During the call, the conversation traveled from reminiscing of days gone by to our plans for the future, which included the all-too-famous question, "are you seeing anyone?"

I began to tell her about how I wasn't really seeing anyone in particular, but I had been on a few dates, some of them great, some not-so-much.

As I went on, I realized the common theme was that none of the guys had a long "shelf life" in my world, because of what I'd like to call dating deal breakers.

Dating deal breakers are simply one act, one trait, one thing the girl or guy you're dating does that is an automatic ending to your budding relationship. For example, I stopped accepting calls from one prospect after he told me he went to strip clubs more than twice a week, most weeks. To me, a guy who can't seem to peel himself away from pole dancers is a deal breaker.

Another prospect hit me with the "I'm the father of four children with four different women" deal breaker. Some of the children were disturbingly close in age and that only left me wondering if he could commit.

The most famous and abrupt ending to a series of perfectly fine dates with a gentleman came my sophomore year of college when the guy broke the news that he was Atheist. I know we all have our own beliefs, but to me, a belief in no higher power is also an automatic deal breaker. In addition to that, he was also extremely pessimistic. I could never see myself with a guy who always saw the glass as half-empty.

That said, what are some dating deal breakers for you? And how do you decide when to let some things slide?

I've posted before about how I hated having a perpetually sick/hypochondriac boyfriend. I have no patience with sick people. But this year, I have had two of the most god-awful colds imaginable.

And as a writer, I'm here to tell you what goes unsaid: I was no fun.

If I had been dating me, I would have dropped off a couple cans of Campbell's soup, a box of zinc lozenges and some tissues and said "call me when you're fun again -- and not contagious."

When I changed my stand on that one time, it led to one of my most devastating rejections. Mr. Tattoos-and-sexiness was recovering from having his wisdom teeth out and I offered to come over with a movie and not much clothing on and he told me he'd rather I didn't. Thinking about it now, I think I held that rejection against my kinder nature more than I did against him.

How much do you have to put yourself in the line of fire for a companion. I mean, when you get married you promise all that sickness and health jazz. But until the contract is sealed, how much of your companion's biohazard are you obligated to soak up?

Has a so-so prospect ever moved up or down the charts because of how he/she treated you while you were sick?

The cry of a single guy.

I've had what most people might consider a tough week. Kind of like Ruby-bad, but in a different way. Work's been hard (but they wouldn't call it work if it was easy, would they?), I had to clean the fridge of some awful odor, the hot water went out at my place one morning and I think I pulled a muscle in my back.

Whine, whine, play a tiny violin. I know, I know. This isn't fishing for sympathy. In all, my life isn't so bad. I have shelter, can afford my bills (most of the time) and eat regularly.

But 5 p.m., or 6, or 7, - whenever I get out of here - can't come soon enough. And then - what?

After a rough one, you really want to just veg on the sofa, and whine to your honey and get a back scratch. Not so for Wingfella, because he's got no honey.

So, world, when you're out in the cold and nobody's around, how do you handle it? Unhealthy habits and one-night stands don't give much of an answer. A little intestinal fortitude helps, but you got to drop the gut check sometime and find some solace. How do you single folks find that when you need it most?

As we are in the final stretch to the ultimate, chocolate-covered rose petal diamond five star mink cristal and lobster holiday, I read a little different take on love and marriage. More marriage, actually, and less love.

Read this before you decline Mr. OK's marriage proposal:
The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough

Here's a sample: "Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year."

After reading this essay in The Atlantic, I think the writer's perspective is a little grass-is-always-greener. She sounds like a yuppy single mom who wishes she had a man and not just everything I ever wanted out of life (it's not like she's sharing her thoughts through her recipe column in the Russell County News. Although it's not like I am either).

But still, my heart doesn't overflow with sympathy. It may be the same thing that keeps me from enjoying Sex in the City -- besides Sarah Jessica Parker's sharpie-d on cheekbones. I mean, there are a heck of a lot more men out there than there are gigs at national news magazines.

All that said, I mainly agree with her. Nobody's perfect, so you're going to have to settle on some counts no matter what. Like buying a house: You find a couple of things you can't live without and just deal with the rest and be happy.

What say you?

Another installment of "Valentine's Day is Ruby's favorite holiday."

You're at your favorite restaurant. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the little velvet box. You open it up and see the perfect glint of a couple of karats of true love. A dream come true or 10 car payments sunk into something fundamentally worthless?

I came across this story that claims that diamonds aren't really worth that much. Yeah, it was written when I was 4 years old, but if a diamond is supposed to be forever, it seems that this logic might also be.

Has anybody used another stone or symbol instead of diamonds to show love? Something more intrinsically valuable or meaningful? I've been sort of enamored of tanzanite since I found out that it is truly rare.

A punk rock friend of a punk rock boyfriend of mine had a nose ring made from some sort of horn or antler or something that he said had at one time been an engagement ring. All of my skepticism for diamonds isn't going to make that less icky, but it was meaningful to him. I guess.

Is there a better way than diamonds to make two months' salary last forever?

What would be the perfect Valentine's Day date in Greensboro?

For me, it would definitely involve a trip to Leblon. Nothing says romance to me like lots and lots of meat, plus, the waiters there are the most charming I may have ever encountered in my life.

Then maybe a coffee and cheesecake at Cheesecakes by Alex. Cheesecake is the one food that I use that suggestion from Bridget Jones' Diary: I only eat cheesecake that men buy for me.

But that's me. What else is a great special-occasion date in Greensboro?

Tomorrow is Thursday and it's also Valentine's Day. This year I don't have plans for Valentine's Day. Now I could spend the day thinking about that fact, worrying about that fact and wallowing in my singleness. Or I could realize that for the single woman without a date, tomorrow is just another Thursday.

Earlier this week I got an invitation from a couple of friends whose boyfriends won't be in town this Valentine's Day to have a fancy dinner with them tomorrow. I could go and surround myself with friends to forget about my dateless night. Or, following another common theme among single women, I could rail against Valentine's Day and say it's a made-up holiday and I just don't believe in it. I could even attend one of the several "Valentine's Day sucks" theme parties I've heard about.

The truth is, though, that if I had a significant other, I'd enjoy Valentine's Day. There's no point lying to myself that the day is just lame only to have to be a hypocrite later when I expect flowers and candy.

So, this year, I'm not going to let a holiday made for a couples bring me down because I'm not part of one. It's just any other Thursday to me.

What about you? When you don't have a date for Valentine's Day, does it bother you? Do you try and keep busy or is it not even an issue for you?

Contrary to popular belief, I woke up this morning without a chip on my shoulder. It's Valentine's Day, I'm single, so what?

When I was in middle school, V-Day was funny, because we would wait to see how many guys would pick fights with their girlfriends right before for the holiday so they wouldn't have to buy gifts (yeah, boys would do that).

As far as I know, it never happened to me back then. Just a few years ago, though, I was kinda in to this guy and felt the feeling was mutual. We didn't have the boyfriend/girlfriend title, but we hung out at least twice a week and talked on the phone until the wee hours of the morning frequently. This went on for about six months, so I felt we had a pretty good thing going on.

When V-Day came around, I was contemplating getting him something small as a symbol of my affection, until one day we somehow stumbled upon the topic as to whether Valentine's Day was romantic or just some plot for people to spend money. He said something about how he believed in dumping his dates because he worked hard for his money!

After explaining that spending dough isn't the only way to show your affection on V-Day, I kindly removed his digits from my phone. I guess I just felt that was behavior he should have left in sixth grade.

Has anybody else ever had a bad Valentine's Day experience? Would you rather just be alone than deal with the drama?

The poem featured on yesterday's Writer's Almanac included these lines:

No one, including me, especially anymore believes
till death do us part,
but I can see what I would miss in leaving—

(Here's the whole thing) Scroll about halfway down, to Thursday.

Earlier in the day, I had a conversation with another self-identified "serial crusher," and (I think) we agreed that one love for your entire life is a beautiful idea but not really attainable.

When I think of my "loves," distinct from my crushes, there are already 3, and that's already more than one per decade for me: Nathan, who I just knew I was going to marry when I was 5 and I cried and mourned when he moved in second grade to a different school; Mr. Punk Rock from college and my b.f. now. With each, I really believed at the core of my being that I would be with this person for the rest of my life (and I still do, with the one).

But I feel like that is testament enough to the fact that I don't really believe in one love. (I do, however, believe in Bob Marley and the intrinsic goodness of reggae music.)

And I kind of want to throw in some cultural relativism. There are plenty of places where it's A-OK to love more than one man or woman. So is monogamy an American/Protestant invention? Or is it the only way to really love?

Update: I just googled "monogamy" to make sure I'm using the right word, and I found this: Does anybody else think that's kind of heavy?

Here's the end of the story: "I was a perfect gentleman."

Here's the rest of it: This friend of mine, a guy, was on a date. After dinner, they went to Ben & Jerry's at the Friendly Center, but it was closed, so he sort of put a little move on her there in the gazebo. He held her close and started to dance with her.

Here's what he had to say about the dancing:

"When she put her arms around me it was like 'Oh God I can't believe I stink...Hey wait a minute, I don't stink, she does.'"

He explained the smell a few ways, but I think the most illustrative is this nugget: he tried breathing through his mouth but he said he could taste it.

He wondered: "What else don't you wash?" And it sounds like that was the end of the date.

As for me, I can kind of be a big hippie. I'm not really that uptight about showering, I usually wash my hair every three or four days and if I'm close enough to a guy that I can smell his skin, I like that smell. Especially if he smells like a guy and not like paint thinner or whatever it is they put in Axe body spray. I use soap and deodorant and everything, but I never endeavor to smell like a flower or a cupcake or anything like that.

But we're not talking about my smell. We're talking about whether my friend should go out with this chick again. He's confident that she wants to see him again. Tomorrow will be the earliest he can call her (by a very liberal interpretation of the three day rule). Should he?

And the price he's paying for all of your good advice, dear readers, is he has agreed to be bound by it. If there is a plurality of opinion on what he should do next, he has promised to do it.

So what should he do? Call her? Not call her? Take her swimming?

Stinky? You bet. More noisy, though.

There's a fine line between stinky-bad, stinky-OK and stinky-passable. Or make that pass-gassable.

I've been on enough first dates through the years to know that after I've dropped off a gal at her place I can expect a mighty wind powerful enough to lift me several inches from my car seat before I can even back out of her driveway.

I can only bet that it's about the same deal right after you gals shut the door from a first night out.

But there's the first one you share together that's really special. It's the fart when you're together for the first time, and you let 'er rip. Hey, we're all human, and there's more room on the outside.

A friend of mine has elderly parents. And in their den is a series of masking tape marks on the floor. His mom is such a dainty lady that she leaves the room to break wind. Problem is, she doesn't get around so easy these days. So her husband, my buddy's dad, marks how far she makes it each time with a piece of tape.

In my house, it's a take-em-as-you-got-em kind of deal. Still, there's always the awkwardness around the first time. I've known some gals who tell of the first fart happening only on accident, when they're asleep, and they pray that their beau is already knocked out.

Me, I just wait until I know if this is someone that is on the level with me. Then we can both just let them fly. So, how do you break it when you have break it for the first time?

How to arrange a threesome

I guess if you're using headphones this isn't going to get you fired.

While wasting time last week, chatting with friends, looking at celebrities captured in photos showing off their baby bumps and downloading music at home, I learned via Myspace that my cousin is getting married. There she was flashing that huge rock with stars in her eyes and I was very happy for her. I knew it was coming, they've been together forever.

Her engagement news followed my receipt of a card reminding me that one of my friends from high school was getting married this spring. I emailed her thanking her for the invite and she politely let me know that it was just a Save the Date - the actual invite would come later.

I know nothing about the wedding process, and that doesn't bother me. I am just irritated that marriage seems to be the topic of all of the conversations around me lately. My best friend has been engaged for months, my sister and her significant other eloped about a week ago (and decided to tell us after) and I have a feeling that a few more friends and relatives will be walking down the isle sooner rather than later.

There was an interesting article in this month's Elle magazine. I picked it up for the cover tease "I love you; You're perfect, Now get a face-lift: Plastic Surgery's Dirty Secret." But the article of which I speak is a Q&A between the magazine and Michele Weiner Davis, a couple's therapist and author of "The Sex-Starved Wife: What To Do When He's Lost Desire."

Davis talks a lot about how the secret to successful relationships is solving the "desire gap." But, contrary to what seems to happen in most relationships, she says that the person with the lesser desire is the one that needs to change. It seems, conventionally, that the person who wants to have sex three times a day is the one society says needs to compromise.

Not so, according to this expert. It doesn't mean that every couple should be having lots of sex, she says. "If both people are truly satisfied with sex 10 times a year, that's okay," she says. She also points out the myth that sexual dysfunction is the only reason for disinterest in men. "Many, many men aren't willing to be sexual with their wives if they're feeling disconnected emotionally," she notes.

Do you guys agree? Is a harmonious sex life the key to a successful relationship/marriage? Who's at fault when there's a desire gap?

It's also a touchier subject when the guy's the one who never seems to be in the mood. Davis says low libido in men spawns shame and fear and an unwillingness to admit the problem or seek help. Ladies out there, has this ever happened to you? And guys, would you admit it to a significant other that you're feeling too "emotionally disconnected" to get it on?

Not as much as this guy.

This weekend I'm visiting an old guy friend -- and his fiancee.

He and I never had anything going on; we've always been good buddies. And since I've known her, we've gotten along fine. But I'm a little worried about spending a couple of days and nights at their place and the awkwardness that might occur.

Has anybody pulled off a trip like this successfully? Any tips for things I can do to keep the fun level high and the weirdness level low?