Dating deal breakers
I was catching up with an old friend from college recently. During the call, the conversation traveled from reminiscing of days gone by to our plans for the future, which included the all-too-famous question, "are you seeing anyone?"
I began to tell her about how I wasn't really seeing anyone in particular, but I had been on a few dates, some of them great, some not-so-much.
As I went on, I realized the common theme was that none of the guys had a long "shelf life" in my world, because of what I'd like to call dating deal breakers.
Dating deal breakers are simply one act, one trait, one thing the girl or guy you're dating does that is an automatic ending to your budding relationship. For example, I stopped accepting calls from one prospect after he told me he went to strip clubs more than twice a week, most weeks. To me, a guy who can't seem to peel himself away from pole dancers is a deal breaker.
Another prospect hit me with the "I'm the father of four children with four different women" deal breaker. Some of the children were disturbingly close in age and that only left me wondering if he could commit.
The most famous and abrupt ending to a series of perfectly fine dates with a gentleman came my sophomore year of college when the guy broke the news that he was Atheist. I know we all have our own beliefs, but to me, a belief in no higher power is also an automatic deal breaker. In addition to that, he was also extremely pessimistic. I could never see myself with a guy who always saw the glass as half-empty.
That said, what are some dating deal breakers for you? And how do you decide when to let some things slide?
Comments (5)
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I know the type of guy you're talking about - when he just isn't interested in a second or third date and has zero interest in continuing the relationship he comes up with some "deal breaker" . . . whatever he figures might work - sometimes he might have to try two or three before he hits - one that usually works is when he tells her how he cheated during his last relationship or previous marriage - one of my buds had to go so far as to fabricate a story about how he and a couple of his friends got drunk, pooled their money and hired a hooker - that story seemed to do the trick -
Posted on February 6, 2008 9:49 PM
Wow, I never did that, I just never called again....ooops I said that out loud....
Posted on February 6, 2008 10:27 PM
I wish I had known about that tactic in college. It would have spared me the pain of having to look a guy in the eyes and say "I don't eat dinner," when no other excuse was working. I should have told him I had a kid!!
Posted on February 7, 2008 10:02 AM
Ruby, I once told a guy I don't have a phone because he was too persistent in getting my phone number.
Posted on February 7, 2008 2:20 PM
There's nothing wrong with dating an atheist. I would be more worried about dating someone who DID believe in a supernatural entity. I mean... what other ridiculous beliefs might they have? Plus, Christian girls are normally very dull in bed.
Posted on February 10, 2008 8:46 AM