Dropping the f-bomb, or Wingfella's last flight
Stinky? You bet. More noisy, though.
There's a fine line between stinky-bad, stinky-OK and stinky-passable. Or make that pass-gassable.
I've been on enough first dates through the years to know that after I've dropped off a gal at her place I can expect a mighty wind powerful enough to lift me several inches from my car seat before I can even back out of her driveway.
I can only bet that it's about the same deal right after you gals shut the door from a first night out.
But there's the first one you share together that's really special. It's the fart when you're together for the first time, and you let 'er rip. Hey, we're all human, and there's more room on the outside.
A friend of mine has elderly parents. And in their den is a series of masking tape marks on the floor. His mom is such a dainty lady that she leaves the room to break wind. Problem is, she doesn't get around so easy these days. So her husband, my buddy's dad, marks how far she makes it each time with a piece of tape.
In my house, it's a take-em-as-you-got-em kind of deal. Still, there's always the awkwardness around the first time. I've known some gals who tell of the first fart happening only on accident, when they're asleep, and they pray that their beau is already knocked out.
Me, I just wait until I know if this is someone that is on the level with me. Then we can both just let them fly. So, how do you break it when you have break it for the first time?
Comments (6)
To report abuse of the comment feature on this site, please use the feedback form at the bottom of any page.
I use the old pull-my-finger routine -
And if she won't pull it, I pull it myself -
Know what I'm saying ?
Posted on February 19, 2008 12:04 PM
The N&R is dropping local content blogs and retaining blogs about relationship farting.
There's a metaphor in there somewhere.
Posted on February 19, 2008 1:38 PM
Hugh-
I know you haven't been a big fan of me in the past, so now you don't have to worry about it anymore.
For everyone (and Hugh, too),
Thanks for the comments and laughs and insight as we've chatted about the odds and ends of the in-betweens between us all. I'm taking an indefinite break in blogging here. Though I might pop up on a comment or two when I just can't hold it back. Heh. Hold it back.
Adults try to act like grown-ups, but really we're all just kids wearing big-kid clothes.
Posted on February 19, 2008 4:41 PM
The first time a date farted in front of me was the night I lost my virginity, at the precise moment it would be the most comical, pathetic and awful. I have all of the typical memories, and along with them the hushed whisper of a fart creeping out of his clenched cheeks. That is the kind of romance Marguerite Duras couldn't write in 10 lifetimes.
To my knowledge, I have never farted in a boyfriend's presence. I personally think my not farting has more to do with my mom's prolific farting around the house than with that event, but I've never tried that hard to tease meaning out of it.
Posted on February 19, 2008 9:51 PM
Ahh.. the things we'll admit to under the clout of anonymity...
Posted on February 20, 2008 1:57 AM
I dumped a guy over the embarassment I experienced when he fell out of his desk in class and then passed gas so loud that everyone in the room laughed harder at the foul air than they did the fall - that was sixth grade.
Years later, I still can't seem to be OK with farting around a guy I'm dating, at least, not on purpose, though I can usually deal with his stinky realeases. Guys I know say they don't think women are even supposed to fart and the thought of use doing number two, well, that's just horrific in their minds!
Lol, of course, at some point we've all gotta let 'er rip and that time could very well be in front of Mr. Right guess that's when you laugh and say, better out than in, right?
Posted on February 21, 2008 11:44 AM