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I have ruled out long distance for the most part since in my early twenties when it ended up a mess between my first true love and me. Recently, however, I was re-acquainted with an old flame and we started dating. She lived in DC. I knew it was a mistake to break this cardinal rule of mine, but I fly to DC often for work so it was not too bad. It did not work out. My heart truly was never in it anyway because of the distance and now that she is moving from there to Nashville (I never go there) I am glad that we ended it after a couple of months.

I guess for me, quantity time is almost as good as quality time. I think when both me and my gal are kicking back, maybe watching TV or something, is sometimes the best of times. It is hard to do this s many miles apart. But don't listen to me, it is only an opinion.

PS, how are you just now finding out he lives in DC if you have developed a relationship with this guy?

Of course, I recommend moving to DC as opposed to staying here. I used to live near there and wish I still did.

The lesson I learned, through hard (and expensive) experience, is that a long-distance relationship is too much work and not enough fun. Not for a new relationship, at least.

The distance I was from this guy was similar to DC-to-here and as he was writing a book and finishing law school, I was always the away team. All my free time seemed to get consumed by what I would be doing on the weekend so I could be free to visit him.Then there was all this pressure to make the visit worth the effort and we both ended up exhausted and not having that much fun.

And if you don't have an existing basis of trust, then there is lots of opportunity for everyone to get suspicious.

That said, it's a great way to keep something going on the side, if that's what you're into.

I disagree. Although I don't have personal experience with a long-distance relationship, I've seen them work. I've even seen them work where the pair met during some random summer activity (i.e. vacation) and kindled a romance that became almost immediately long-distance (kind of like your situation, Jizelle). I think if this guy seems right, you should give it a try and just talk it out so you both know what the other is expecting out of the relationship. It's so hard to find a good guy that I think you should do what you can to keep one if you've found him.

Please remember if neither of you plan on moving or can move, why bother?

Please remember if neither of you plan on moving or can move, why bother?

Permanent New Guy: I guess it was unclear in my post, but I met him one weekend in Charlotte, that same weekend he told me he lived in D.C. So, later actually meant a day later.

Betty: Thanks for your advice. I think it's also important to add that the reason he was hanging out in the QC was to scope out houses and meet with potential employers. So far, he hasn't found what he's looking for (jobwise), so the search continues....Right now, I'm OK with the situation, and he plans to visit me in the next few weeks. Also, it will give me an excuse to return to D.C. and do some serious shopping in Georgetown!

Sorry, my bad. Go for it.

While the cat is away, the mouse will play.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.