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What I'm not doing for love:

Getting a haircut.

My hair is now twice as long as it ever was in college, and relentlessly getting longer. I have pictures all over my desk of my flippy little bob and I get all nostalgic about hair that dried itself just right if I drove to work with my car windows down.

But unlike most of college, now I have a man. A man who, like all men, likes long hair.

It doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice, does it? Longer hair saves me money -- now I only get a haircut every couple of months instead of at least every six weeks. It's easy enough to throw in a ponytail and seem fairly well groomed most of the time.

But it does take a long time to wash. It takes a long time to dry. It takes a long time to style. It gets tangled. It gets on my ice cream cone on a windy day. And it's not really what I prefer.

I concede that my sacrifice is pretty small, but it's Monday; let's ease into this whole thing.

Have you changed things about yourself for a relationship? My resentment over this whole hair length thing is at, like, a 2 out of 10. But how much do you come to resent the changes you make to please a partner? Or does your partner drive you to make positive changes?

Comments (5)

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Permanent New Guy said:

Every girl I've dated has a different "dress code" for her man, so I let them dress me as they see fit. You know that look guys. The "I'm not going out in public with you dressed like that" look. It usually means a lot of my favorites also get thrown out, Goodwilled or permanently stored away.

Ruby said:

Yeah, my boyfriend has this black t-shirt. It's old and crappy and I hate it. Every time I see it -- on him, in the laundry, in a dresser -- I say something like "you still have that?" or "didn't we decide to get rid of that?"

But he still has it. The thing is, it can't be a favorite, it's just an old crappy t-shirt. Old cool t-shirts I encourage him to keep.

Chronicles of the Wingman said:

I love that.. "Didn't WE decide to get rid of that?" I can't count how many times I've heard that.

I find a different woman with each hair style....If i cut it short, i find women that seem to expect a lot more out of me.

If i leave my hair bushy, i find women that want to play with it and pull on it.

If i have it straightened, tend to find more women with tattoos and piercings.

at 27, I still haven't found my favorite style. For the right woman, she can have my hair, but not my guitar.

Permanent New Guy said:

PS, I have dated as many short-haired women as long-haired and like both equally, so maybe I am the odd man out.

Alaska said:

I changed to get along with my ex but NEVER AGAIN! I learned and the woman I am currently talking to a lot tells me before I even thought of the subject to not change anything about me for anyone.

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