Can a "Samantha" exist in the real world?
With May 30 rapidly approaching, I've got Sex on the brain. Sex and the City that is. I'm unabashedly a fan of the show, and with the movie hitting theaters soon, I've found more and more conversations with my friends/fellow fans centering on Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha.
Last weekend, the conversation started out with the classic question: which character are you? We decided that no one can fit neatly into one of those categories. I think I've got a equal parts Miranda and Charlotte, but a quiz on Facebook tells me I'm a Carrie. Check out this quiz if you don't have Facebook. It's actually better because it breaks down who you are in percentages.
Anyway, the main point of our conversation settled on Samantha. If you're not familiar with the show, here's a synopsis of her character.
My friend and I were trying to decide if Samantha can exist in real life. She believes no, there is no true Samantha, because anyone who acts like Samantha, having sex with tons of people with no regret, must have low self-esteem, which would be very un-Samantha.
I agreed to an extent. I think there are women who can be "promiscuous" and do so with their heads held high. But I don't believe there's a woman out there who doesn't want to settle down at some point however far in the future that point may be. That doesn't make her un-Samantha (Even Samantha found love at the end!) The thing, however, that I think sets women who act like Samantha apart from the character itself is the fact that Samantha, somehow, had sex with more people during the course of the show than I can count and, yet, was still perceived by men as powerful, sexy, confident and, ultimately, a catch. You didn't see scenes where men were sitting around joking about how easy she is. Men fell all over her. They treated her like a goddess.
That does not happen in real life. No woman striving to be a Samantha would ever be treated by society as well as Samantha was in that fictional world.
What do you think? And if you hate the show, well, you probably didn't make it this far in the post, anyway!
Comments (4)
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I'm the ultimate fan of Sex and the City. I can watch each episode over and over and still love it just as much as the first time.
I think all of us SATC lovers feel the same way, because their world just seems so glamorous - even with the real-life issues, such as Charlotte's inability to conceive, Miranda's struggle with motherhood and Samantha's battle with breast cancer.
Samantha's promiscuity, in my opinion is glamorized and us viewers would watch her escapades, without judgement, every week.
I don't think promiscuity is always a sign of self esteem issues - not that I condone it or anything. I just think some women feel like, "if men can do it, why can't I?"
With Sam, I think the idea was to show her being that way, and also show how she always stood up for herself, was proud of who she was and, for the most part, didn't give a hoot what people thought of her.
However, I agree that in real life, women probably are not completely like Sam at all. I don't think real life women are too much like any of the characters, to be honest.
I mean really, how can a woman who works solely as a columnist afford such an awesome New York apartment, dinner and drinks at the hottest clubs and restaurants and a huge closet full of Manolo Blahniks?
Posted on May 1, 2008 1:55 PM
I hate Sex in the City. I think it must be because (are you reading, Ginger?) it's a lot easier for me to find a man than it is for me to find a way to afford $600 shoes. I find myself thinking "what I would give to have your problems," for the six seconds I watch before changing the channel. And also, just because it's in a martini glass doesn't mean it's a martini. I'm just saying.
But since six seconds is all it really takes to absorb what's going on in the show, I sort of have an opinion about Samantha. I think her attitude might be like wearing the color orange. You see someone else wear orange and you say "That looks great but I could never pull it off." We look at Samantha and say "that looks fun but I could never pull it off."
But if you do it with confidence, you pull it off. I had one summer break where I dated three guys at the same time. I don't remember feeling particularly low self-esteem. I remember feeling kind of like a stud. But I could only do it because I was away from campus and so fairly anonymous. I'm pretty sure I would have faced harsh judgment from my friends -- male and female -- if they had known about it.
Maybe we can suspend disbelief with Samantha because New York is such an anonymous place and she has good friends who let her be herself.
Posted on May 1, 2008 5:46 PM
Ruby, you did it for a summer. I agree that women can date multiple people and do everything that guys do with ease. The difference is: can we be happy with that as our life - forever - which is how they portray Samantha for most of the show. An occasional one night stand, or even a string of them, isn't the same as believing that monogamy is totally unnecessary and then living your life by that rule.
Posted on May 1, 2008 7:08 PM
Oh, happy for the rest of your life? That's the part that's pure TV.
The single, middle-aged women I know tend to be pretty lonely and celibate. But I also know a good handful of married women in the same boat. The reason Samantha is happy is that she satisfies herself (albeit, with the help of a ton of men). She's a good foil for the others who don't have happiness with wealth, comfort and professional success, so it must come from a relationship, right?
That might be why I don't enjoy the show. I don't have much patience for my friends whining about the same things. If you're sad and lonely, the answer isn't to find someone who keeps you company and makes you happy. The solution is to stop being sad and lonely.
Posted on May 5, 2008 8:49 AM