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My name is Betty and I'm single.

The first step to recovery is admitting it, right?

In all seriousness, I enjoy being single, most of the time, even though family and some friends act like it's a problem deserving of a 12-step program. I'm open to relationships, but as an early-20s recent grad, I'm not too eager to settle down. I like men who are funny – and not with the Frat Pack sense of humor of a Vince Vaughn or Ben Stiller movie. I'm talking about being clever. Men like that don't grow on trees.

I've been single for a long time, and I like to blame the guys for being noncommittal. But with a little reflection, I know that I'm a little noncommittal too. In high-school I bailed on a Valentine's Day date because they guy gave me a very sweet, hand-illustrated card in front of my Psych class. I freaked and that was the end of that.

Supposedly once you find the one, you just know, and all of the baggage and weirdness falls away. I doubt that, and that’s where my cynical attitude on a lot of things comes into play. I'm smart enough to know that a successful relationship, let alone a successful marriage, takes a LOT of work. So why should falling in love, or even going on a first date, be so easy that you just know?

What do you guys think? If you're looking for the ONE, should it be obvious that you've found him/her? Have you gotten through a period of uncertainty about an individual to discover your soulmate?

I'm looking forward to sharing my dating disasters (and hopefully a few successes) here with all of you. Feel free to send me your thoughts at Betty@news-record.com.

Comment away!

Cosmo has a feature where they poll 50 men and 50 women on the street about a celebrity to determine if she is girl hot or guy hot? For example they recently rated Cameron Diaz and according to their "poll," 66 percent of guys think Diaz is hot but only 38 percent of women agree.

I've had conversations like this with my friends and almost always the girls and the guys disagree. (In my experience this only really works when we're talking about women. I think we're more comfortable judging the attractiveness of women than men are comfortable judging other men.)

But why do we seem to disagree? What in a woman do other women find attractive that doesn't do it for men and vice versa? In my opinion, when women judge other women, they are really judging themselves. They want the scale of attractiveness to put themselves at the top of the list, so they'll give a good rating to a woman who is beautiful in a normal kind of way, a beautiful that is somewhat attainable.

The average woman, I would guess, is less forgiving of a woman who is held together by botox than a man would be. And women probably make snap judgments about other women's characters based on the way they dress or do their makeup, something I doubt men really take into account in a "girl hot versus guy hot" situation.

Is it just jealousy? And if men and women can't agree on what makes a woman attractive, how can we single women hope to make ourselves so?

Just to get the conversation going, let's experiment a bit. Angelina Jolie — girl hot or guy hot? How about Jennifer Lopez? And to shake things up a bit, let's judge George Clooney and, a personal fave, Jake Gyllenhaal.

I recently went on a first date (and hopefully it won't be a last) and the guy took me to a movie. I had a good time, the movie was entertaining enough and the conversation that we were able to have was smooth and comfortable. Unfortunately the conversation was relegated to the few minutes before the movie and the few minutes after.

Granted we probably would have combined the movie with some other activity but I simply didn't have the time that night. So while I enjoyed the date, I don't feel like I know significantly more about this guy than I did before.

Now I already knew that the movies are not a great first date unless dinner is included, but it got me to thinking about what would be the ideal place to go or activity to do for a first date where you are trying to get to know the other person and also find out if there is a real attraction there.

What are your first date locations/activities that help you decide if you want there to be a second date? On the flip side, what's the worst first date location or activity? (My guess would be a bar/heavy drinking. You're bound to divulge way to much information for a first date!)

During the holidays this year, my brother's girlfriend was brought home to meet my mother for the first time. She was nervous, I could tell, but things went well.

Later though, my mom started to pick my brain about this girl — who is great, by the way. She asked me if she cleans up around the apartment that she shares with my brother. (I have no idea.) When I asked her why she was wondering that, she responded that she noticed my brother making her plate for her and then putting it in the sink afterward. My mother thought she should have made her own plate and then cleaned up afterward, even though she was a guest in our house. Yeah, my mom is that old-fashioned!

My response to her was "I'd be a nervous wreck to meet you." But if my mom had to go that far to find something wrong with her, then the girlfriend probably did alright.

So what does it take for a significant other to impress your parents? And how far have you gone to impress a boyfriend or girlfriend's parents?

It's a short post today...maybe because I'm bitter and don't want to think about it!

Anyway, the topic today is that New Year's Kiss. The stroke of midnight on New Year's is starting to rank right up there with Valentine's Day as far as moments I think were invented to make single people freak out and/or feel bad about themselves. I've never had a spectacular New Year's kiss. In fact, one year that I'd rather forget, I was someone's second New Year's kiss! THAT was awful.

But please, regale me with stories of your best New Year's kisses. Or comfort me with your worsts.

And coming soon: Dating resolutions from the unbuttoned crew!

Lately I've been giving out my phone number a little too freely. Sometimes I think I'm interested and realize later that I'm not. Sometimes I just have a hard time saying no, especially when the guy has put in the time (and possibly the money for a drink). It's, I guess, easier to hand out the number now and ignore the call later than reject someone to their face.

I used to give people a fake number but then that backfired when, in a moment of stupidity, I gave someone a fake name but the real number. Needless to say, he called and got my real name from my voicemail and proceeded to call back about five more times, presumably to call me out on my cowardice!

It's not a big deal but the next few entries from the unbuttoned crew are all about regrets. I try not to have too many, and regretting giving someone my phone number doesn't rank too high. I'm wondering though, have you ever given someone your phone number and then immediately regretted it? What should I do about my reluctance to turn people down?

More than once in the past few weeks, a guy I've met has forgone the requisite phone call to ask for a first date (or a second date) and instead has sent me a text message.

On the one hand, I welcome it. There's no awkward phone conversation or voicemail message. I can think about my response for as long as I like. On the other hand, he can also take as long as he wants crafting a response. And that's not fun.

After all, the waiting's the hardest part.

I wonder, when I'm having a conversation with the man I'm supposed to be dating via text message, where's the honesty? The voice inflection that signals to you that he's the kind of guy you should go on a date with?

I often use text messageing to avoid uncomfortable conversations. So, in that case, is text messaging just a cop out?

Lately I've been jumping from guy to guy or date to date with quite a bit of ease of mind. It's unusual for me, especially considering how I used to focus on guys with an almost religious fervor.

Most of the reaction I get from friends is "Good for you!" or "That's what you should be doing!" But another friend of mine, never married, in his 40s is also dating around -- three women to be exact. On one Saturday, he went out with all three of them at different times. They don't know about each other. Those same friends of mine don't receive his story nearly as well as mine.

So my question is this: At what point is dating around good and healthy and when is it a crime?

In a recent post, Billy the Blogging Poet attributes one person's romantic woes to the fact that Greensboro is simply a bad place to live if you want to meet new people. He said the person in question should think about moving (and take Census records into account). I thought I'd expand on that.

This is a big week. It's a big week for all American citizens (Super Tuesday). And it's a big week for college basketball fans (if you don't know what I'm talking about, then I'm not talking about you!)

Lest you think I've forgotten what this blog is all about, I'll get to the point, now. A few weeks ago I went out on a date. When my friends asked me how it went, all I could muster was this statement: I don't know if I can date a Republican in an election year. Add to that, he is a Duke sympathizer (almost worse than a fan) and I was pretty much turned off.

Now MY political and basketball ideology aside (this is a dating blog and that's my feeble attempt to avoid a political or sports debate here), if you feel very strongly about a team, whether it be sports, politics, religion, whatever, can you date across that line? I understand the importance of broadening horizons and listening to other points of view, but that doesn't mean I want them espoused by my boyfriend. In my defense, he liked to talk over and interrupt me, making it near impossible for me to make a point in even the friendliest of debates.

I've heard stories about married couples who root for different teams across the eight-mile divide that defines a rivalry in college sports. Sometimes, hilarity ensues although I think it'd get pretty serious when kids are involved.

A couple whom I'm friends with, both Carolina fans, argue vigorously during games (over stuff like 'You're not wearing the right color! You jinxed us!) I'd hate to see what would happen if they weren't both rooting for the same team.

On the religious side of things, my parents come from very different religious backgrounds. When the dinner debate turns to religion, one usually leaves the table upset.

What do you guys think? Any stories of your own?

In closing, I'd like to send a message to my man Ty Lawson (not that he reads this blog or anything): If you can't play tomorrow, it's OK. We'll win anyway. And then you can help us ruin another Senior Night in March. (Comments contradicting that statement not welcome.)

Tomorrow is Thursday and it's also Valentine's Day. This year I don't have plans for Valentine's Day. Now I could spend the day thinking about that fact, worrying about that fact and wallowing in my singleness. Or I could realize that for the single woman without a date, tomorrow is just another Thursday.

Earlier this week I got an invitation from a couple of friends whose boyfriends won't be in town this Valentine's Day to have a fancy dinner with them tomorrow. I could go and surround myself with friends to forget about my dateless night. Or, following another common theme among single women, I could rail against Valentine's Day and say it's a made-up holiday and I just don't believe in it. I could even attend one of the several "Valentine's Day sucks" theme parties I've heard about.

The truth is, though, that if I had a significant other, I'd enjoy Valentine's Day. There's no point lying to myself that the day is just lame only to have to be a hypocrite later when I expect flowers and candy.

So, this year, I'm not going to let a holiday made for a couples bring me down because I'm not part of one. It's just any other Thursday to me.

What about you? When you don't have a date for Valentine's Day, does it bother you? Do you try and keep busy or is it not even an issue for you?

There was an interesting article in this month's Elle magazine. I picked it up for the cover tease "I love you; You're perfect, Now get a face-lift: Plastic Surgery's Dirty Secret." But the article of which I speak is a Q&A between the magazine and Michele Weiner Davis, a couple's therapist and author of "The Sex-Starved Wife: What To Do When He's Lost Desire."

Davis talks a lot about how the secret to successful relationships is solving the "desire gap." But, contrary to what seems to happen in most relationships, she says that the person with the lesser desire is the one that needs to change. It seems, conventionally, that the person who wants to have sex three times a day is the one society says needs to compromise.

Not so, according to this expert. It doesn't mean that every couple should be having lots of sex, she says. "If both people are truly satisfied with sex 10 times a year, that's okay," she says. She also points out the myth that sexual dysfunction is the only reason for disinterest in men. "Many, many men aren't willing to be sexual with their wives if they're feeling disconnected emotionally," she notes.

Do you guys agree? Is a harmonious sex life the key to a successful relationship/marriage? Who's at fault when there's a desire gap?

It's also a touchier subject when the guy's the one who never seems to be in the mood. Davis says low libido in men spawns shame and fear and an unwillingness to admit the problem or seek help. Ladies out there, has this ever happened to you? And guys, would you admit it to a significant other that you're feeling too "emotionally disconnected" to get it on?

I can't say I've ever done anything to crazy to get a guy's attention. I have done (or gone) crazy to keep a guy's attention, such as ignoring every possible sign that the relationship was heading toward dating armageddon. But that's another topic for another post.

What's the wildest thing you've ever done to get a guy or gal to notice you? I've heard of people breaking up a couple in order to get with one of them. And on another blog a few months ago I read about one woman who said she has purposefully caused a minor car accident in order to meet the cute other driver. That's not only extreme and dangerous, but I fail to see how getting the guy into an accident will engender attraction. If someone hits me...and then hits on me, well, I think I might fake whiplash and call my lawyer at that point.

Have you ever done anything like that, or something similarly insane? Was the person's beauty just that blinding?

It's easy to get jealous when your guy's hanging out with his old friend, who happens to be a girl. And guys, how comfortable are you when your girlfriend wants to have a night out with her guy friend? You know, the one she's known forever but it's just platonic?

Well, at least you know you can trust her when she's out with her girlfriends, right? Well, not alway. I heard of just such a situation third-hand. Basically this guy's lady is bisexual. So when whenever his friends start getting along with her, there's the potential for jealousy, no matter the gender. I, personally, feel for the girl. Who can she hang out with without even the slightest question of impropriety? I guess, she could always keep looking for that man who never gets jealous ...

If I couldn't even trust a man I'm dating when he's out with his guys, well I think I'd go crazy. Also, I'm pretty sure that, besides dark hair and dark eyes, my type includes picking a side and sticking with it.

So I guess the question is two-fold. How does one avoid the pitfalls of dating in the murky world of gay, straight and somewhere in-between? Or is this a fundamental question of trust and not sexual preference?

I know we women, at least the ones I know (and me), like to project an image of being easy-going, down-to-earth and low-maintenance. We can drink beer and eat pizza. We can be ready to go do something spontaneous at a moment's notice. We don't bring make-up on a camping trip.

The problem? Being that cool isn't always possible. At least, it's not always possible to be that cool and still be the attractive girl you guys are looking for. Beer and pizza have carbs. Hair needs to be conditioned and blow-dried before that spontaneous adventure. And, well, don't expect me to wake up in the forest looking the way I looked when you met me.

My question is this: Guys, if you can't have both (the girl who is low maintenance AND the girl who looks good and smells like lilacs all the time) which are you gonna choose? It's my opinion that guys want certain things to come naturally that simply don't. When faced with two choices, they'll choose the girl with the highlights and the perfect make-up, but would never admit to wanting the girl who needs the highlights and the perfect make-up. What's a girl to do?

Social lives have long revolved around food and drink. So it's no wonder to me that food and drink, and one's preferences, can play an important role in forming meaningful relationships. A recent NY Times article probed relationships between vegetarians and meat-eaters. How does that work? Well, I've seen it work and usually the non-vegetarian cuts back on his/her meat intake -- not always such a bad idea. But what about the social drinker who is paired with the teetotaler?

As for those all-important first impressions, should a girl order salad at dinner to appear dainty? What if she's really just not that hungry? Is it really a turn on to date a girl with a hearty appetite? What if that hearty appetite comes with a hearty pant size?

If any of those questions actually matter, then eating, like everything else in those first few meetings, is all about appearances. Order the lobster to flaunt your money or request the steak extra rare to demonstrate your manliness. Don't mention your strange food allergies or restrictive diet plan.

And the perennial problem for many: When a guy or gal is drinking on a date, when does the impression go from "he/she likes to have a good time" to "he/she's a lush?"

I don't like dating strangers. I've given it plenty of tries and will probably continue to, but, to be quite honest, I don't enjoy it. I've always wanted a relationship that was based in friendship and grew into something more.

Sure, there are plenty of reasons why those relationships are bad. (The friendship might get ruined; you might put mutual friends in the middle in the event of a breakup.) But I'm starting to think the benefits might outweigh those risks. No more awkward first dates being No. 1 because you'd get to know each other before romance is a factor. And the fact that he would likely know, and probably love, my friends is a major plus.

Tell me about your experiences dating friends. Good, bad, ugly?

According to the current forecast, it's supposed to rain this weekend. And while we're in a drought, that doesn't make me hate cloudy, rainy days any less.

Sometimes it's just comfortable to be in a drought.

Now before I get angry comments about how thankful I should be for rain, you should know I'm no longer talking about the weather. I'm talking about my lack of dating for the past couple of months. I've been ignoring offers to go out in favor of hanging out with my friends or just hanging out with myself in front of the TV. It's comfortable. I'm comfortable. And I don't have to dress up or look pretty.

But I know better than to allow myself to get too comfortable in a drought. I know that I'm inventing flaws in potential dates just because being single is sometimes the easiest option. I know that dating my television set or clinging to my friends is a bad idea. But I can't seem to get motivated to put myself out there right now and I don't know what the deal is.

Any advice on how to give myself a kick in the pants? In all likelihood, I won't take it. I'll just wait for some guy to come along and wow me out of my sweatpants (and into something more appropriate for a date, I mean). But maybe there's another, more realistic, solution out there.

With May 30 rapidly approaching, I've got Sex on the brain. Sex and the City that is. I'm unabashedly a fan of the show, and with the movie hitting theaters soon, I've found more and more conversations with my friends/fellow fans centering on Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha.