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The name's Jizelle and I am not ashamed to say that I am single....again.
I am, however, ashamed to say that I may be single because I have a habit of ruining potentially good relationships before they even begin.

I'm the type of woman who meets a guy, fishes for flaws, then uses his less-than-desirable qualities or habits as an excuse to kick him to the curb. I go in for the kill early.

I'm not really sure when or where the trend of relationship sabotage began for me. Perhaps it started in ninth grade, when I broke up with a guy because he was too nice. He waited for me after every class to walk me to the next. He carried my books, never liked to argue and called every day like clockwork. So to put myself out of relationship bliss, I ended it all in a letter that I left in his locker.

In college, I stopped dating a guy cold turkey, because after dating for two months, I felt things were moving too fast. There was no real reason for me to feel this way, it was just the weapon I chose to slaughter our brief romance.

If I fastforward to more recent years, I can recall that the trend has continued with numbers of dates gone wrong and potential boyfriends who were dropped so quickly, I didn't even have a chance to get their last names.

Unfortunately, at 26, I realize that other than the tactics I use to kill off a budding relationship, not too much has changed. But if I don't want to end up an old maid with 10 cats, I've gotta learn how to allow a man to coexist in my world.

Has anyone else ever committed serial relationship sabotage? Is there a remedy?

I was catching up with an old friend from college recently. During the call, the conversation traveled from reminiscing of days gone by to our plans for the future, which included the all-too-famous question, "are you seeing anyone?"

I began to tell her about how I wasn't really seeing anyone in particular, but I had been on a few dates, some of them great, some not-so-much.

As I went on, I realized the common theme was that none of the guys had a long "shelf life" in my world, because of what I'd like to call dating deal breakers.

Dating deal breakers are simply one act, one trait, one thing the girl or guy you're dating does that is an automatic ending to your budding relationship. For example, I stopped accepting calls from one prospect after he told me he went to strip clubs more than twice a week, most weeks. To me, a guy who can't seem to peel himself away from pole dancers is a deal breaker.

Another prospect hit me with the "I'm the father of four children with four different women" deal breaker. Some of the children were disturbingly close in age and that only left me wondering if he could commit.

The most famous and abrupt ending to a series of perfectly fine dates with a gentleman came my sophomore year of college when the guy broke the news that he was Atheist. I know we all have our own beliefs, but to me, a belief in no higher power is also an automatic deal breaker. In addition to that, he was also extremely pessimistic. I could never see myself with a guy who always saw the glass as half-empty.

That said, what are some dating deal breakers for you? And how do you decide when to let some things slide?

Contrary to popular belief, I woke up this morning without a chip on my shoulder. It's Valentine's Day, I'm single, so what?

When I was in middle school, V-Day was funny, because we would wait to see how many guys would pick fights with their girlfriends right before for the holiday so they wouldn't have to buy gifts (yeah, boys would do that).

As far as I know, it never happened to me back then. Just a few years ago, though, I was kinda in to this guy and felt the feeling was mutual. We didn't have the boyfriend/girlfriend title, but we hung out at least twice a week and talked on the phone until the wee hours of the morning frequently. This went on for about six months, so I felt we had a pretty good thing going on.

When V-Day came around, I was contemplating getting him something small as a symbol of my affection, until one day we somehow stumbled upon the topic as to whether Valentine's Day was romantic or just some plot for people to spend money. He said something about how he believed in dumping his dates because he worked hard for his money!

After explaining that spending dough isn't the only way to show your affection on V-Day, I kindly removed his digits from my phone. I guess I just felt that was behavior he should have left in sixth grade.

Has anybody else ever had a bad Valentine's Day experience? Would you rather just be alone than deal with the drama?

I've been away from this blogging thing for a while, but I come back with some good news - I met someone that has some real relationship potential. The only problem is, he lives about seven hours away! It is so me to meet a man in the nearby Queen City only to later find out he lives in the Chocolate City (a common nickname for Wahsington, D.C.).

In the past, a long distance relationship always seemed to be the perfect scenario for a budding love affair. I could see my mate occasionally, talk on the phone until the wee hours of the night and still have my space. But, what happens when you don't want space anymore? I'm getting older now and I'm starting to yearn for the little things that make a relationship tick. I don't want to give up on the possibilty of having all that with this guy just yet, so how do you keep the love from going stale before it's fully developed? Is it even possible to maintain a long distance relationship for more than a few months?

I think everyone can remember the first time a girl or boy made your knees weak, your heart flutter and your intelligence, er, disappear. When I was a teenager, the first time I held a boy's hand or met by my locker to sneak a peck was a big deal. That's the time when puppy love was cute. Ten years later, it seems puppy love has been phased out and replaced with puppy lust. I'm experiencing that headache now with a teenage relative whose fixation with boys is leading her on a path to self destruction. She skips school, sneaks out of the house and her grades have gone from stellar to failure.

I'm no fool, I know many of my peers were doing more than hugging and kissing when I was in middle school and high school, and while the guys were probably getting high fives for losing their virginity, the girls were being called promiscuous (among other things).

Now, intimate excapades seem to be as cool as hanging out with your buds. Teenagers talk about sex like it's small talk and they're having it just as casually.

I was watching a daytime talk show recently where teens were talking about how they play sex games where they wear different colored bracelets and if someone from the opposite sex snaps the bracelet, you have to perform whatever intimate act the color represents. I was shocked.

But who's to blame for the evolution of relating?

I've heard people blame the entertainment industry, which makes intimacy appear glamorous. But some argue that there are just as many television programs, web sites and celebrity influences that talk about the dangers of promiscuity and unprotected sex.

For some reason, though, it's not enough. But what else can be done to put an end to teenagers' reckless behaviors? I don't have any kids, so I can't really advise on the subject, but I'd love to get some tips from someone who has experience - whether you're a parent who's been there or know someone who has.

Game, pick-up lines, charm. These are some of the terms that we women use to refer to a man's strategy to pick up women. As men get older, their methods of picking up women do too. Unfortunately, some men haven't figured that out yet.

While celebrating getting older recently, I met many men whose game had grown quite stale. We went out to a fun little spot on Battleground Avenue, where the people are usually 25 and up, because we were in search of some intelligent conversation. What we got was chessy one-liners and even a few, "so, come here oftens?"
I was thinking that maybe it's just the club scene that brings out the expired charm. I would even venture to say the low lighting, endless alcohol and smoky air are to blame for the lack of decent communication. Then I remembered how a friend of mine who met a guy at the same spot a few weeks before told me how he attempted to impress her by driving up to a house that looked like a Beverly Hills mansion or a feature on MTV Cribs and hinting that he was going to purchase the digs. He even hinted that he would move her in. Did I mention that the thirty-something is currently sharing a sparsely decorated house with a relative?

Is it possible that bad game has taken over the Gate City? And, if men are continuing to approach women with pathetic come-ons, does this mean that women are still falling for it? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Nails perfectly manicured with two coats of clear polish painted on each to obtain that high gloss look. Hair was perfect, thanks to the Paul Mitchell gel giving each curl a defined bounce. Sounds like I was ready for the perfect date, right? Wrong. I'm actually describing my date.

I know I recently gushed about a long distance romance and seemed quite optimistic, but that optimism has morphed into boredom, so yeah, I'm dating again.

That said, no matter who I date, I have always tried to stay away from high maintenance men. I don't need a man who spends more time than me in the mirror. In my opinion, men aren't supposed to be so caught up in hair and nails and though I like a man who is put together, style shouldn't take so much effort.

So why did I end up at dinner with a man whose nails looked better than mine?

I'm won't bore you with details as to how we met, but I will say I didn't see the shiny nails when my friends introduced us. Yes, he was very handsome, but looking at him a second time, I found myself staring at his lips, in awe of what appeared to be shiny lip balm. I tried not to hold it against him, but the perfect nails and glossy lips taunted me for the duration of the date.

It didn't matter much, he seemed to be perfectly fine holding a full conversation by himself anyway. He gave me life story, and he even managed to discuss his future goals during what seemed to be the longest two hours of my life.

Now, the boring long distance thing isn't looking so bad, in fact, I may go home and call him tonight as I sit in front of the television giving myself a much-needed manicure.